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i’m miserable


New Member
We’ve been dating for 8 months now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn’t and i know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I’m just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work , could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas? do i not turn him on


New Member
you're not the first one to have this problem! Only thing is - no one here can really help you, except him. He needs to tell you WHY. I could guess a hundred times and who knows if I'd get it right?

When I was in my previous relationship, there were periods where he simply didn't turn me on. We are grown up in an environment where men are supposed to get horny by the look of a Jessica Alba poster, and so it seems abnormal for a guy to be "turned off" by you or not find you as sexually appealing as he used to. These are all just phases and they pass, but try to get him to talk about it. He can't NOT talk about it, he owes you to let you in on this.

Maybe he can't get it up and get's nervous and shameful because of this, because guys can "always get it up, right?" Not right at all. Something could have happened. Anything. He got to let you in on this. If the thing is that he can't be turned on anymore, try to give it time and don't ever stress him. Just talking about it can sort a lot of things out.

It could even be that he has another girl he's in love with. After 30 years of marriage, people still do fall in love with others. Some things are hard to accept. And hard to talk about because I'm sure he still loves you. Feelings are no easy matter...

wish you all the luck!