• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

If Your Child Has Been Through Trauma And Doesn't Want To See A Therapist, What Do You Do?

MainerMikeBrown

Registered Member
It's an unfortunate fact that some innocent young children have had one or more traumatic experiences happen to them.

And if you're the parent or guardian of a youngster who's been through trauma and is struggling emotionally because of it, then psychotherapy can be a good option for him or her. A therapist can help him or her cope with what happened and can give the youngster a chance to someday be able to move on with his or her life and live a happy, productive life.

But what if you think that your child could benefit from therapy, but the youngster doesn't want to talk about the trauma in therapy, and doesn't want to go into therapy?

My advice is this: while I don't blame a young trauma victim for not wanting to talk about it, a young child doesn't know what's best for him/her. However, you as the parent or guardian, you as the adult, do know what's best for him/her. A little kid doesn't know what's best for him or her the way an adult like you are do.

The thing is, if the child doesn't get the therapy he/she needs, it'll likely haunt your child for the rest of his/her life. But with therapy, your child can become mentally healthy once again.
 

Mirage

Secret Agent
Staff member
V.I.P.
Honestly, therapists and counselors are used to kids being nervous or outright against talking to them. What I've seen people do is find a counselor who understands the kid's trepidation and who is willing to be patient with them. Let the kid know that they don't have to talk about anything bad that happened unless they're comfortable. Often times it can take many sessions, but eventually, many kids will start to warm up and open up.

This isn't always the case though and there are no easy answers and certainly no cookie-cutter solutions. Trauma is hard to handle and everybody has their own way of dealing. I don't think forcing a kid to see a therapist is a wise move either, so the initial steps might just be being there for them as a parent in whatever way they need.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
You could probably talk a small child into seeing a therapist, maybe even bring one into the home where the child is comfortable. An older child, maybe that would also work, maybe not if they really don't want to. I would be careful about forcing them into seeing one. They could end up resenting you for it. Keep the option open to them but until they are ready you may have to just be there for them, listen to them and love them.
 

Impaired

Registered Member
Therapy can't be forced. You can make somebody go to a place but you cannot make them do the work. They have to want to do it.
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
Therapy doesn't necessarily require a therapist, just an understanding parent who is willing to listen and offer comfort. Once a child becomes used to opening up to an adult about what happened, or even just about their feelings in general, they may become more open to the idea of seeing a therapist.
 

Impaired

Registered Member
A parent isn't always the best choice. It is hard for a parent to listen without judgement, without making their feelings on what is being said immediately visible in your expression or eyes. Objectivity is VERY had for a parent.
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
It isn't about objectivity, it's about empathy. If your child is hurting, as a parent, helping them deal with the pain will for most naturally trump the tendency toward judgement. Focus on their feelings, not on the circumstances of their trauma. Those circumstances are part of the past, and nothing can change the past, their pain is part of the present.
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
I work with therapists (family, couples, children) and part of the resistance is the "idea" of seeing one makes them think they're abnormal or something is wrong with them. Therapy can be presented as a safe space for them to talk - or not just for them but for others who didn't necessarily have their experience, note that some could still be in denial that they're traumatized so they won't see the need for a therapy. Therapy doesn't have to be formal either. Family members can provide this safe space or maybe peer counseling will appear less threatening. Or group sessions - seeing how others are able to verbalize or cope with what happened to them might give your child courage to do the same.
 

dDave

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
One thing I will add to what's already been said is that every kid is different. Going through trauma doesn't necessarily mandate seeing a counselor either. It is important to talk about it with someone. Remember that every kid deals with trauma differently and a lot of them really do eventually work all the way through it.
 
Top