If your better half...

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Mirage, Jan 17, 2009.

  1. Mirage

    Mirage Administrator Staff Member V.I.P.

    If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife or whatever lost both arms from the elbow down in a freak accident, would you stay with them?

    Yeah, one of these threads. Sorry for the direct punch to the brain.

    I know I am supposed to say yes and I know it would be hard to live with myself if I said no. When it comes down to it I would stay. I won't lie it would be very tempting to get out and the situation as a whole would just be horrible but when it comes down to it either you are committed or you aren't. Don't get me wrong it would be extremely hard to stay. Both lives would be changed forever but that is one of the worst things to end a relationship over. How could you move on with your life knowing you couldn't stand by somebody you loved when they really needed you?

    If I was dating somebody then I'd have to really like them to stay with them through that. That alone shouldn't seal the deal if you ask me. I mean dating and marriage are definitely not the same but if I was dating somebody and planning on getting married there's no way I would bow out if that happened. It's one of those things that you know you need to say you would stay and you hope to God never happens.

    It's bad just to think about and I wouldn't wish it on anybody but worse things have happened and people have made it through.

    I for one hope I will never have to make this decision when it counts but it's pretty intense to think about. So, what would you do?


  2. Cait

    Cait Oh, poppycock.

    Yes, because he's more than that. He's my best friend. He accepts me for all of my flaws, why shouldn't i accept him for all of his?
  3. WesJones87

    WesJones87 RayzorBlade87

    I would indeed. It's not what a person looks like on the outside that matters most, it's whats on the inside that matters.
  4. sophie05976

    sophie05976 Registered Member

    awwwww sweet very and yeah id do exactly and think exactly the same as you
  5. snowflake

    snowflake Registered Member

    I would stay with them yes. I'd leave my job and take care of them full time. Show just how much they mean to me. Losing both arms wouldn't change the person they are or your feelings towards them.
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    It almost happened to my husband. He had an elbow accident last year (just broken bones) and he had to stay home for several months with limited capacity. That was hard (and I was taking care of a newborn too that time). I can imagine it'll be harder if he had a bigger accident that will remove both his arms like in the scenario. Would I divorce him over it? No.

    But to be realistic, our lives would change. This is not simply a question of physical change in him. I can also imagine him getting severely depressed over it and might even push me away for various reasons: he's angry and depressed or he's guilty and doesn't want me to handle the burden with him. Either way, it's a whole new dynamics to consider and I wouldn't know how I'd be able to handle this character, personality and interaction changes. It would also depend on how much he would allow me to deal with it.
  7. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    Same as ysabel said,there would be a lot of factors in a situation like that.

    I would stay but there is always the chance that your partner would push you away,losing the use of a limb can change a persons personality,losing both arms at the elbow would have drastic effects on there personality and mentality I would imagine.

    It would be an extremely hard thing to deal with emotionally,and I can see it draining the relationship in some cases.

    I have seen the effects that something like what you outlined can be,a guy that lived around my mum and dad's way was a decent bloke always chatty and that,he lost the use of his left hand in a motorbike accident 8 years ago,his entire personality changed with in a couple of months,he suffered major depression was constantly angry and did his best to push people away because he saw there trying to help him as them pitying him.

    I would like to say that I would stay no matter what,but if my partner went through that kind of personality change I don't think I could.
  8. Doc

    Doc Trust me, I'm The Doctor. V.I.P.


  9. Major

    Major 4 legs good 2 legs bad V.I.P.

    Please contribute more and explain your answer. That's why we have a character limit.

    Yes, I would stay with her, and I would hope she would stay if that happened to me. Love means you'll do anything for that person.
  10. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I would definitely stay. If you commit to someone you have to be willing to deal with situations like this should they occur. I am very much in love with my boyfriend and would stay with him no matter what. If something tragic happened to him such as this then I would look after him and support him as best I could.
    Yes it would be extremely difficult and our lives would change but I love him and that's what matters at the end of the day.

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