If someone close to you told you...


Sultan of Swat
Staff member
That they murdered someone, and proved it to you, would you tell?

By close I mean someone that you have genuine closeness to, not say, your estranged father who you have contempt for...Someone genuinely close to you.

While it isn't murder, someone close to me confided to me that they did commit a crime...So, what would you do?

I know this message could also go in the Lounge, but I want intelligent responces.


Resident Ass-Kisser
The italicized section below is what I almost posted. It is a textbook answer for what should be done.

It would be very difficult, but I would encourage the person (say, a frienc) to turn himself in. I would contact a lawyer for him, and possibly even a psychologist. I have some level of confidence that our justice system isn't all that bad, and I would testify in defense of my friend's character outside of whatever circumstance led up to the crime.

However, you asked me what I would do, and to that question I can not simply give a textbook answer. I have to base my answer on what I have done in the past, because "What I would do" answers just aren't accurate otherwise.

I would likely stay as uninvolved as possible, but not turn my friend in.


Registered Member
If it were a somewhat innocuous crime, then no, I wouldn't say anything to anyone. But a murder or other violent crime should be reported to the authorities. Of course at first I'd try to get them to turn themselves in, but if they didn't I turn them in.



Registered Member
Quick question: why not move this to advise?

Moving on we would have to know how you truly feel with the person and your self. Could you wake up every day and know that person is guilty of a crime? You know you could help serve justice, but would you feel contempt with your self knowing you betrayed this person?

Sorry to shot questions back at you like that, but if you can't answer those then it would b hard to answer any thing else you may ask?


Sultan of Swat
Staff member
I personally would do the same thing that Hoosier said. If it was a crime that was very brutal, like kill someone or something that severe, then I would ask them to turn themselves in, and obviously they wouldn't then I would have to go to the authorities, and tell on my close friend. It would be a hard thing to do, but I have to obey the law, and if it's something this drastic I would have to do it. One big reason why I would have to tell on him is because I would be afraid for him to do it again, because if he did it once, then there's always a possibility for him to do it again.


Registered Member
For me, it would depend on whether or not I'd agreed to keep silent. It would be very difficult for me to intentionally break my word to a friend, even if he had committed a crime. I'd probably encourage him to turn himself in, and try to keep an eye on him to try and protect others.


Registered Member
For me it would depend on the current situation as well as the situation in which the murder takes place. If he or she went out and just killed someone then I would turn them in. If it was some crazy situation where they didn't have much of a choice I would tell them to think about telling someone. In between I can't say what I would do/


Registered Member
I would tell if they were hurting more people, I wouldn't want to take the risk and let more people get hurt, that would mean that part of it would be my fault because I had the chance to tell.


Registered Member
Seriously, I would be so torn that it was rediculous.

I'll tell you right now that I would most-definitely turn him in.

...I'll aslo tell you that I'm flat-out lying.

In all honesty, I like action, so I'd probably try to involve myself with the police in some law-and-order secret cool catch-the-dude thing.

Okay. No I wouldn't.

If I were you, I would try to get all you can out of him and see how dangerous it is for you. Think of whether or not you think they'd sacrifice your life to keep what they did secret. Then, well, if you come up with "they would," then it'd probably be more like "I won't turn him in 'cause I'm scared." But....then...chose whether you're willing to sacrifice yourself or not.

Or maybe talk to a pyshologist about it. But...eh...might be a good idea to change the story a bit.

Sorry I can't offer any good advice....

PS- The mind is a great weapon. If the "what you did was wrong" approach doesn't work, then take it the other way. Make him feel seriously guilt. Try exagerrating the truth a lot too. Mking him feel crazy with guilt would be a good way....but...I doubt that that would be easy.