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I went behind a friend's back, now I'm afraid she's going to tell him!!

dois20

Registered Member
We were good friends for a year, and I thought she was into me until I asked her out. She turned me down 'for now' but insisted we stay friends like nothing happened.

I've tried but I can't. She's a really difficult person to be friends with and before I liked her so I saw through it. Now I have no desire to put up with her bullsh*t. I wanted to give her a second chance but she pissed me off again this week so I want to totally end everything. I'm not going to answer her texts or her facebook anymore.

This is the problem though. We work together and nobody at work knew about us hanging out, much less me asking her out. I asked her to keep it that way and she has so far. I know shes going to confront me when I cut her out of my life and the one thing I don't want is for that to ruin my relationship with a close friend. He would not take kindly to me trying to get this girl behind his back (even though he doesn't like her).

I know I can quit but the friendship with that person is something I want to keep so I don't know what to do. I want nothing to do with this girl but I feel like in a rash action she might spill everything and ruin absolutely all the relationships I had at my work. Also I don't feel up to salvaging anything or keeping it alive just because I've had absolutely enough.

What are you suggestions?
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
We were good friends for a year....She's a really difficult person to be friends with
Can you explain this please? You're somewhat contradicting yourself here. Were you just 'putting up' with her like you said or was she actually a good friend and then things changed?

He would not take kindly to me trying to get this girl behind his back (even though he doesn't like her).
Why? This sounds like an important missing detail.

I know I can quit but the friendship with that person is something I want to keep so I don't know what to do. I want nothing to do with this girl but I feel like in a rash action she might spill everything and ruin absolutely all the relationships I had at my work. Also I don't feel up to salvaging anything or keeping it alive just because I've had absolutely enough.
It sounds like you're leaving some information out here. I mean, no big deal, some girl turns you down. How would it hurt you if people found out you asked her out? Is she married/taken? Is she your boss/superior?

To me it just sounds like nothing else can be done. You seem to have spoken with her enough to have come to an agreement where you're civil to one another. If you're afraid she's going to spill things, what made you think that?
 

dois20

Registered Member
Okay i will do my best to clarify.

i) The good turned bad friend. When we went out and hung out it was amazing, we have a lot in common and we get along really well. Its just the pre-going out. She never initiates, when she does its only when she needs something. She's always last minute, so I have to be the one who confirms. Its like she doesn't think that I have my own life and plans, like she can call me last minute and expect me to be okay with that. I put up with it before because I liked her, now I don't, so I don't see a reason why I have to, thats not how a friend should act..There are more instances but overall she doesn't act how a friend should act towards others...

ii) The guy is almost my best friend but he and this girl don't get along, which is why I hid it from him. Besides which they are both my bosses. If he knew it would be weird because at work I sided with him usually just because I knew him better and he was right most of the time in any case. Not to say that I didn't defend her when I could...i hope you get what I mean

iii) I'm not sure if she would spill it but i just don't want it to happen. It might if I totally cut her off because she might get pissed at me and decide to get back at me.
 

dois20

Registered Member
Oh I should also mention that her being my boss is a minor detail. We work retail and shes only a step up the ladder from me. We're both students doing temp work so its really no big deal like if we were in corporate business.
 
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