"I want to kill myself"

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
#1
Now before I start posting this thread I want to make it clear that I DONT WANT TO KILL MYSELF, AND I DON'T KNOW ANYONE THAT WANTS TO KILL THEMSELVES.

Here's the scenario, one of your closest friends tells you that he's thinking of killing themselves. First off, what would be your reaction? Second what do you say to this person? How do you try to convince him to not kill himself?

Now I posted this in Advice Board because it's technically an advide that you would be given your friend, and I want this thread to be honest and well debated.

Discuss.
 
#2
I've always felt that if someone really wanted to kill themselves they wouldn't tell anyone.
When someone does come out and say it, they are sending out a cry for help. In other words, they've found themselves in a situation they can't handle and they have no idea how to untangle the mess themselves.
Talk is pretty cheap in these situations, I'd park my ass at their house and not leave until the crisis had passed, or become easier to bear.
JMO
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
#3
Well rule 1 is don't be fake. Don't just act like killing one's self is wrong just because it's wrong. If you approach it in an absolutist manner, then anything you have to say about it is going to be fake. You're not there for the person. You're there to project your own arbitrary choices on them. So don't do that.

Second, realize that there ARE some circumstances in which killing one's self could be considered best, but that is rarely if ever the case with a friend who tells this to you and allows you to give them advice. There's almost always a better solution to their problems and it's your responsibility to find that, honestly of course.
 

Major

4 legs good 2 legs bad
V.I.P.
#4
My reaction? I'd probably be a little surprised. I'd try to find out what was causing the friend's suicidal thoughts and just talk about his problems a little bit. I don't really believe in trying to talk someone out of suicide (if they want to commit suicide they're going to do it no matter what), but I'd be sure to remind him how much he has to live for and how much everybody cares about him and how he'd be missed.
 

English-Emo-Boy

Supreme System Lord
V.I.P.
#5
Euthanasia is only legal in Holland so you wouldn't be able to assist the suicide so supporting the suicide plea isn't going to be beneficial to oneself.

But if somebody wants to die no matter what you say to them their going to do it.
 

dDave

Guardian of the Light
V.I.P.
#6
We'd sit down and have a nice long talk, (I'd call the men in white coats if I couldn't convince them not to) talking helps a lot of stuff.
 

AdrienneEHouseman

Registered Member
#7
As someone who has been on both sides of this question... I think that I have a little bit of insight.

My last few weeks before I got out of the house, I got severely depressed, and I was thinking (not incredibly seriously, but the thoughts were there) of killing myself, I didn't make the attempt, but I was depressed and felt worthless, and I wanted out, and the time seemed like it was coming to a screeching halt. I talked to one of my best friends, cause I knew that something was going rather wrong... My friend did the right thing: first he yelled at me for being idiotic and not realizing how many people would be hurt if I did something to myself, and then he gave me a shoulder to cry on and let me vent to him, and put himself in danger of being out after curfew so that I wouldn't have to go home so soon.

As someone who has had friends who were suicidal (much more so than I ever was), I was on the other side of this too. All that I could really do is remind them that there are people there who care about them (me included) and that they would hurt a lot of people by hurting themselves that way, and giving them a person to talk to and a shoulder to cry on...

My thoughts on the subject.

Adri
 

redsoxocd

living on the border
#10
I have some strong feelings about this subject but some differ from the others:

1. If someone is living a live that they hate and that they are constantly in pain in, who are we to try and make them keep living. Normally if someone is in pain we want them to be relieved of that. So what if suicide is the only way for them to be relieved of the pain that they are feeling? Why do we try so hard to stop them if we want them to feel better?

2. I've been in this situation before, on both sides as for a long time my best friend was really suicidal (although she never tried anything). I never told her "things will get better", because I dont believe that that statement is always true, or "dont kill yourself, it wont help anything", because I dont know if it will help anything. But I just try to talk to them about what ever they are going through, but not in a like "therapist" kind of way, in a friend way. I try to make them laugh, things like that.

3. My friends have gone through this with me and couple of times, but not that many because most of the time when i feel this way I keep it to myself, or tell an adult so that I can go into the hospital. But normally if a friend knows its my two best friends. They are helpful in the way that one of them can make me laugh no matter how I am feeling, and the other is really good to talk to. There has been two serious times hwen they did know. One time was in november after I had OD and I called and my friend karlo and just told him that I loved him, and from there he freaked out and called my other best friend catherine and they called their school conselour who called me mom, and took me to the hospital. The next time is kind in the now, when in december I told my friend karlo that I had set a suicide date for Feb. 7th and he was the only person I told. I guess that I was kind of reaching out for help. But yeah, he told catherine and since everything just started spiralling down for me, they told their conselour last monday, who called my therapist, who called my mom and my school. So now I'm just under close close watch until next thursday, which sucks in every way possible.