I just realized

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Msbabedoll, Apr 28, 2005.

  1. Msbabedoll

    Msbabedoll Registered Member

    I was marking something on my calendar and realized, next wednesday my husband will have been dead for two years. Gosh, that hit like a ton of bricks!

    I dont mean to be a drag and whinny butt here today, but you all i consider my friends. I feel comfortable telling you this bothers me tremdously. (not to mention I dont have to look you in the face)

    If you have been through something like this, what do you do to not dwell on the fact that its a death annivasary day? It's SO hard not to!

  2. wolvergambit

    wolvergambit Registered Member

    With my experience there is really only one thing you can do.
    You don't ignore it or try not to think about it.
    You remember it, all of it, the good times, the bad times, everything.
    You think about what you are missing. You feel happy, you feel sad and you cry like crazy.
    It is healthy to let your feelings flow and let them envelop you. Once you do, you will feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders and you won't be afraid to never forget about them.
  3. doubles2004

    doubles2004 Registered Member

    i know wher you are coming from and how you will feel .i lost my first wife when i was 22 yrs old its not a good feeling but what i did was not forget the good times we had and thought of them and also to think in this world today as it is now i know she was in a better place hope this helps may god bless
  4. Msbabedoll

    Msbabedoll Registered Member


    My mind goes wild thinking sometimes and sometimes I smile and think of the stupid things he used to do, like bite my toes! LOL He only did that cause he knew it made me mad.......I once asked him why he strived on making me mad and he told me cause I was so cute when I was mad! LOL I really think that was just a really good come back!

    Then other times I think about how BAD it had gotten before he died. How he choked me once, yelled at me that I didnt' love him and threated to move, stayed gone, I would find hypodermic needles hidden out in the shop (he also liked to "run" mepragan) and I'd break them off and cry and get so mad and confront him about it and he'd get mad at me in return and accuse me of not trusting him, cause they weren't his..........

    I guess it is normal to think like that.....
  5. precision

    precision Registered Member

    Whine all you like, or all that you NEED to anyway. (we won't tell)
  6. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    Msbabedoll, you have such spirit in you! Remember one thing, and hold it close...love is such a testimony to life, long after we are gone, those who loved us remain. We all leave our mark whether we are here for 1 day or 1000's. The anniversary will be difficult, but it will also be one more day that you have survived, this more than anything else gives testimony to your strength. Take a day to mourn, then get on with the business of living!
  7. Nanner

    Nanner Registered Member

    I dwell.....can't help it. My Mom (also she was my dear friend as adults) died going on 7 yrs this Sept. I'm always down on that day. What I do is go to the cemetary with 2 balloons. One I tie to a little tree or stick or something to leave there. The other I let go and watch it until I can't see it anymore. Then I know she has gotten it :) Also I bring a dozen pink roses.....have to be pink. I do the same balloon thing on Mother Day but since my daughter arrived we've been at Disney World each Mothers Day so we, together, send Gma a Mickey or Minnie balloon from there. (she knows I'm a Disney addict :)) Will be doing the same this year. HUGE hugs to you! I know those anniversary dates really really suck :(
  8. nani1987

    nani1987 Registered Member

    The best thing is to think of the good times if you dwell on the bad stuff you will get mad and it will show to others. It is not healthy to get stressed or mad it can make you sick. Trust me on this, I have MS and I have to avoid anystressful things in my life, which is IMPOSSIBLE to say the least. Heck I got 2 teenagers and a boy drama queen..........who is 10 going to be 11 and he was spoiled from birth and it hard to change that now.... but a good paddle whooping cures it sometimes... lol
    Just take the day as a normal day, I never lost anyone other than my inlaws and my grandparents.... a spouse , i can't say been married to the same man 18yrs now and I pray we will die together one day. But You can't predict the future. We are both disabled...funny huh? keep your head up and it will be alright.
  9. Msbabedoll

    Msbabedoll Registered Member

    I want to thank everyone who gave me advice and ALL of it was GOOD advice!! We will make it through the day I'm sure.....

    Thanks SO much for being a friend to me!!
  10. Mina

    Mina Registered Member

    One of my little brothers died almost 11 yrs ago... I still dwell on it during the month that he died. just can't help it. I know that he is in a better place, but even years later I miss him more than most could understand. Just wait until Dec... you'll see my moppy, depressed but around here, just trying to get my mind off of it

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