I have a problem.

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by wolfheart, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    I dont know how many of you have read about what happened to my nephew in Random Thoughts but a quick summery is he was jumped last week, got the crap beat out him and ended up in the hospital having surgury for a broken top jaw from being stamped on, he now has six weeks of drinking his food through a straw.

    The police are at a dead end as there was no CCTV of the actual attack.

    Now for my problem, someone has contacted, someone I trust and told me he knows one of the guys responsible and where to find him.
    I am now sitting here trying to make a choice.

    1, Do I give this info to the police and see if they do anything, he has slipped through the net a few times from what I have been told, never getting more than a slap on the wrist.

    2, Do I do what every fibre of my body and nature tells me and go and see this guy myself, which WILL end in violence.

    I honestly do not know what to do, my brian is fried from thinking about it, on one hand if I let the police handle it this scum may yet again walk away clean, on the other if I do what I have done in the past and handle this myself will it really do any good.

    I know revenge is a stupid motive, I know that I will probally end up in trouble if I do take the second option and I know that it wont make my nephews jaw heal any faster but I really want to put some hurt on this guy and maybe find out who else was involved.

    So do I go for the police's long winded way where he may get away with what he done or I do take a more instant approach and deal with it like I would of in the past.
    I would tell anyone else to let the police handle it, but I cant seem to convince myself that that is the best option.
    Impact, icegoat63 and pro2A like this.

  2. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    I think you already know somewhere inside you that it's not wise to take this in to your own hands. :) Give it to the police and just hope they do their job. If you go with option 2, things are going to get messy and you just should not get involved full stop. That kind of action is in your past for a reason. Good luck!
  3. dDave

    dDave Guardian of the Light V.I.P.

    I say you call the police, or hire a detective to make sure.

    It's going to end up getting you in a lot of trouble, sure you'd have your revenge, but at what cost? Let him be the one who stays guilty don't do anything illegal.
  4. Babe_Ruth

    Babe_Ruth Sultan of Swat Staff Member V.I.P.

    I have to agree with Bex and Dave, revenge isn't the best answer. I know it will make you fill better inside, but you can get a lot of trouble for this, especially if you hurt him pretty bad.

    Just go to the police tell them that you know who jumped your nephew and this where he lives, let the police do their jobs and hopefully they'll make the right decision and procecute this guy.
  5. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    I was just recently in a situation much akin to this. A piece of wasted flesh, flat out scum that has worked the system and done nothing but get fingers shaken at him put hands on my sister and landed her in the hospital.

    The cops here knew it was him, there were witnesses that testified to it, and you know what happened? Absolutely no sort of punishment. The worst he got was a "if you do this again you're going to Jail" and a Restraining order was put on him for contact with my sister.

    it took every bone in my body, every person I've ever loved to keep me from burying this guy in the corn fields of our back 40, because I was fully prepared to do so and I had no remorse for it either. However in the end, I did nothing. I sucked up my pride and figured I'd let the law deal with this scum that eventually it'd catch up to him.

    So heres the problem.... He has no contact with my sister anymore, however one of her friends still knows him. And surprise surprise, he's put his new girlfriend in the hospital twice but because she's a drug user and as much of a lowlife as he is, she wont report him or do anything about it.

    and the thing that now nags me is, if he did this to my sister, and he's done it to another female, whats to keep him from doing it to a third, or a fourth, whats to keep him from not just putting them in the Hospital but instead putting them in the Morgue? The Law has done nothing to him, he's skated away with nothing more than a record of violence and battery.... but no time or punishment for it.

    The question I have for you is, do you know of this person that jumped your nephew? Would he do it again to another innocent bystander? If you were to deal with him vigilante style, are you confident it may change his outlook on respect for other humans? Or would it be nothing more than a fight of Ego's and Revenge?

    The Number One reason I didnt confront the guy that Beat my sister was simply my future. I've worked so hard to build on it, to generate the best possible future I can... and when I sat and thought about it, I realized.... the only way to make this guy stop is to kill him. And if I do that, I risk my own future, and right now thats just a risk I cant take. The guy is a lost cause who will end up one day dead floating down a ditchbank because of the path he is on and the actions he's taken / will take. It may not be by my hand, but I can bet that he'll get a 2 minute blip on the 10 o'clock news as the Sheriffs fish his corpse off the bank.

    Right now however, the only guilt I have.... is the fear of not having done anything. The fear that what if he does kill an innocent girl, the fear that if I had met him behind his workplace and leaned in on him within an inch of his life, broken some bones, and put the fear of god in him that he'd think twice before raising his hand to another female again.

    The decision has got to be made by you, and the only question I recommend is; Is it worth the Risk?
    DinoFlintstone likes this.
  6. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    Thanks for input guys.
    Ice I forgot that you had gone through that, and I was one the people who said let the cops handle it, now I am in the same kind situation.

    The only thing I really know about hte guy is that he has been arrested for assault at least 3 times and always walked away with nothing more than a telling off, never even setting foot inside a courtroom.

    If I let the cops handle it, he will most likely walk again as there were no witnesses, CCTV footage is a no go so it would be his word against that of my nephew, who is still very shaken up by what happened, to the point where he asked me to walk him home over the weekend because he had to go past the area of the attack.

    If I go after him there is a good chance I will put him in the hospital for a long time, the police cannot scare him so maybe a taste of his type of medicine will put a damper on his ways.
    That being said I will stand the chance of getting in trouble, unlike yourself I have a record already so it does not bother me to much to have another little blip on it.

    I have been thinking about it since I made the thread and have decided to talk it over with my nephew and see if he wants to go through the whole process of the police and the courts, if it gets that far, if he decides that what is done is done and wants to leave as is then that is what will happen.

    Eventually the guy will come across someone that will put some hurt to him, it may not be me but someone will.
    I just cant stand the thought of this peice of shit sitting down and eating a meal, while my nephew is sucking baby food through a straw, and scarred to take his new baby out without having another bloke with him.

    Thanks again for the input guys, my head has not been right since it happened, he is a good kid who didnt deserve what happened to him, violence is something he is not accustomed to, sadly it is something I have experianced and come to terms with over the years.
    Why is it that the people who do these things never pick a guy like myself to have a go at, someone who has a chance of defending themselves.
  7. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    I had a long sit down with my nephew and talked over the options of what he wants to do.
    He is going to give the info to the cop who is handling his case and let them deal with it, after sitting down and talking him I realised that what I was thinking about doing would have been detremental to his case, and my life.

    I am not like I once was, I have a family to look after not just myself, but anger had clouded my judgement and rational thought process and I could only think about causing the same kind of hurt or more to the guy.

    I would like to thank those of you that answered the thread and gave what I now see as good judgement calls, something that I was having great difficulty in doing.

    Hopefully the system will work and justice will be handed out.
  8. DinoFlintstone

    DinoFlintstone "There can be only one!"

    You were right to tell the Police. You were the one to nip it in the bud. If you did not, then someone would have got you or one of yours back, and you or one of yours would have got them and so on. You'd have a war.
    This reminds me of the Kenny Rogers song 'Coward of the County.' He knew when to walk away, but he was no coward. He was braver and stronger than them all.
  9. moonlight_dreamer

    moonlight_dreamer New Member

    Definately go to the police, otherwise ur just as bad as the guy who jumped ur nephew. Do the right thing and hopefully it will fall into place for u and ur fam
  10. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Goodluck. Any update? It's a good call to go to the police. I can imagine though why you'd consider otherwise. At worse case and the guy gets away again, at least he would have this in his files as being questioned and suspected. Your objective anyway is for him to not do this again. If he tries to repeat, I'm sure all these back history of several assault complaints will play a big role in the court's decision. If you took matters in your hands, he'll only look like the victim, you surely would have just regretted it.

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