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I don't like you but I love you

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I'm wondering how this is even possible, excluding children. I know you can like someone but not love them but it would seem to me that you would have to like someone to begin with in order to love them. The only thing I can think of that would make this possible is that you once liked them but things happened in the relationship to change that. In that case maybe your just in love with how they use to be.

What would be your take on this?
 

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
I have the "love but not like" kind of relationship with some of my family members. My younger brother in particular. He's my blood, so I obviously love him; and if I were to find out tomorrow that he needed a kidney, I would gladly give him one of mine. But I don't like him. I don't like being in the same room with him and I don't like talking to him. He's a mean, moody jackass and I avoid him as much as possible. But I suppose it's common with family members and relatives.

Not entirely sure if a "love you but not like you" kind of relationship is possible with a boyfriend or husband, though. At least not for me anyways. I'd have to like someone before I could love them.
 

dDave

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I try to love everyone, but I find some people to just be completely overbearing.

I have this one friend that just doesn't know how to take a hint. He's kind of boring and when he's not boring he's depressing. Certainly I love the guy and want to help him out but I definitely do not like him. He wants to hang out for long hours and I just find being with him for too long to be unbearable.

Some people are hard to love, most are even harder to like.
 

Major

4 legs good 2 legs bad
V.I.P.
I think it's something that could only work with family members. Any other kind of relationship or friendship where you don't even like the other person just sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.

Even with family members it depends on how strongly you dislike them. I mean I haven't always liked my little sister, but that's just because there was that sibling rivalry going on. I've always loved her and would do anything for her. But if one of my family members was a really terrible person, like abusive in any way or only cared about him/herself, I would not feel obligated to love them.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I think its very possible to not like family members but still love them unless your reasons for not liking them is really bad. In a relationship its different, to me you must first like them in order to love them. Sometimes things happen in a relationship that will cause you to end up not liking them but you might still love them. Unless what ever happen to cause you not to like them isn't resolved I think with time that love will start to fade until its gone.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
I agree with those who have said its possible to love family members but not like them but its not the same with a significant other.

I mean I guess it IS possible but that's not the kinda relationship I'd wanna be in.
 

Konshentz

Konshentz
A couple of my relationships have taken this turn near the end. It's not a good feeling and usually signals the beginning of the end.

As for family members... anyone that I don't like I also don't love. I actually dislike the majority of my family now that I think about it. Well, besides my immediately family. They're a good bunch.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
Like dDave, I have one friend that it's just an effort to hang out with. She talks about one thing only and even though she is incredibly smart and talented, I find it draining trying to carry a conversation with her, as she keeps coming back to the same thing. But at the same time, I love her. She's been my friend for about 15 years now and I care about her deeply. I just can't hang out with her too often/long.

I probably shouldn't even be friends with her, seeing as it's such a strain for me to spend time with her, but we've been friends so long, and she has her moments when she will just surprise me with something amazing. I always joke and tell her it's impossible not to love her.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
I agree with the sentiment that any relationship outside of family that is in a "like but not love" situation is a disaster waiting to happen. Romantic and friendship-type relationships are based off of mutual appreciation. You have to like friends and companions to love them. The only friendship exception I would make is for a friend that is around as much as my family. Best friends can go through periods of not liking one another while still loving one another.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I think it makes sense in a lot of abusive relationships. My sister recently got out of one and she loved him very much. He was an absolute scumbag to her and she hated him for it, but she was blinded by the love she still had for him.
 
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