I cant deal with this anymore

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by redsoxocd, Apr 26, 2008.

  1. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    I am so sick of having to be caught up in all of my parents bullshit. Its not fair. Since they broke up in January my dad has gotten his own place and my mom got a new place for me, her, and my sister and we are supposed to be moving next week.

    My mom and dad have been getting into a lot of arguments lately because they share a joint account and my dad has just been taking out all of his money, and more.

    Now like an hour ago my dad came in and was looking around and asked me if I had my clothes packed. I told him that I didnt and he said that all I needed to bring was my clothes. So first I'm like, wtf, because I have a ton of sentimental stuff. Then I asked "who am I going with" and he said with him. That was just a blow, because he was also being an ass when he said it. I mean the plan was for me to live with my mom.

    Crap like this has happened so many times since I was seven and I'm sick of it. I strongly do not want to live with my dad. He's a complete asshole and he doesnt understand anything about me. Besides the first time that I went into the hospital, the onther 4 times he didnt even come see me, then he gave me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks once I got home each time. He doesnt understand my cutting or why half of the time I dont want to live. So he treats me like shit because of it. My mom is the only person who does understand it and who actually tries to help me. She's the person that attends the meetings, and tries to help me with school (instead of yelling at me because of my grades like my dad does). She's like the only person who's tried to help me get through all of this.
    I get that she's my stepmom but I've known her as my mom all my life. I've been torn awawy from her so many times. I cant have that again.

    I mean its like i'm trying to deal with school, and friends, and my program, and therapy, and my own fucking thoughts, and I had just gotten over my parents break up, and now my dad goes and pulls this shit.

    I was having the best week ever up until this morning. I had gotten over everything that I was feeling a couple of weeks ago. I havent cut in a week. I felt good, now its like...idk.

    Seriously, everyone says that suicide is selfish. But if I werent here all of the stress that I put on everyone else wouldnt be there anymore. Crap like this wouldnt have to happen anymore. I dont know how i'm going to do it, but this time i not pulling out. I cant deal with this, and i'm done.

  2. Skylar

    Skylar Keepin' It Real

    Hey, don't you dare give up!

    Yes, life sucks and is hard, but not worth hurting or killing yourself over.

    It WILL get better, but you have to hang in there and give it a chance.
  3. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    But like you said, your stepmom is there for you. So by killing yourself I bet you'd hurt her more than anything in the world.
  4. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Do you have a school councellor or someone that you can talk to about this? If you don't get on with your dad as much then it's not fair that you live with him. You should sit him and your mum down and tell them how you feel.
    You are entitled to your own opinion and if it makes you unhappy that it will effect everything in your life.
  5. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    yeah but eventually everyone moves on, and she wont have to deal with all of the stress that I cause her anymore
    they know how I feel about this. Over the past few weeks I've been asked numerous times who do I want to live with, and i've said my mom, and just like when I was younger, my dad doesnt care and he feels that he has to be a tryant and have things his way.

    like thinking about it, it seems like he's only doing this to hurt my mom since they've been arguing so much lately
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008
  6. Nevyrmoore

    Nevyrmoore AKA Ass-Bandit

    In that case tell him where to shove it and that he should piss off.
  7. viLky

    viLky ykLiv

    I understand how life is hard - ESPECIALLY with parents getting the children involved. It seems like your parents are trying to get you caught up in the middle and you don't want any part of it. I'd say tell your dad you want to live with your mom. I don't think he can stop you anyways, as long as your mom wants you with her.

    Once you earn enough money, I suggest moving out. (I think you're in NY) NY is VERY expensive to get an apartment, so I suggest using the Internet to find somewhere you want to move. Or, you can save the money and help your mom out while you live there and do whatever.

    Just don't do anything dangerous! Your mom and sister seem like they love and care about you. If you really want somebody to confide in I suggest reading the Bible and attending Church. It may seem like a horrible idea, but I'm sure it'll change your life for the better. God and Jesus in your life would be very beneficial to you right now.
  8. Phoenix

    Phoenix Fee-nix

    Wow...it sounds like you're going through a really tough time. I understand that you must feel extremely depressed...
    I would try to find someone to talk to about this. A close friend, a school councilor, a teacher, a priest- someone who you know and trust, and they will help you through this.
    I know that words can only be so much encouragement and help, but I think you should really try to hold out through this difficult time. That is much easier said than done, but things often seem to be the worst just before they get better, as the saying goes.
    I'm sorry to hear things are going badly, and I'll be thinking about you, hoping you situation improves.
  9. Hiei

    Hiei The Hierophant

    I don't have any sympathy for your cutting, I really don't. I think it's fucking retarded and I can't see why anyone does it. But that's a different story.

    If you really think that killing yourself will be the best route think about the stress that the funeral costs will have, or the ambulance trip to the hospital where they'll pronounce you. Think about the parents that have to bury their child. About the cost of the plot of land to bury you. Or the cremation costs. The costs of the urn or the casket. Simply with the money, I doubt it's something that's not going to have stress related to it. And I doubt you're going to have any type of great life insurance to cover you killing yourself.
  10. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I don't think bringing her down is going to help her. She needs support right now.
    Phoenix likes this.

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