I am so sick of having to be caught up in all of my parents bullshit. Its not fair. Since they broke up in January my dad has gotten his own place and my mom got a new place for me, her, and my sister and we are supposed to be moving next week. My mom and dad have been getting into a lot of arguments lately because they share a joint account and my dad has just been taking out all of his money, and more. Now like an hour ago my dad came in and was looking around and asked me if I had my clothes packed. I told him that I didnt and he said that all I needed to bring was my clothes. So first I'm like, wtf, because I have a ton of sentimental stuff. Then I asked "who am I going with" and he said with him. That was just a blow, because he was also being an ass when he said it. I mean the plan was for me to live with my mom. Crap like this has happened so many times since I was seven and I'm sick of it. I strongly do not want to live with my dad. He's a complete asshole and he doesnt understand anything about me. Besides the first time that I went into the hospital, the onther 4 times he didnt even come see me, then he gave me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks once I got home each time. He doesnt understand my cutting or why half of the time I dont want to live. So he treats me like shit because of it. My mom is the only person who does understand it and who actually tries to help me. She's the person that attends the meetings, and tries to help me with school (instead of yelling at me because of my grades like my dad does). She's like the only person who's tried to help me get through all of this. I get that she's my stepmom but I've known her as my mom all my life. I've been torn awawy from her so many times. I cant have that again. I mean its like i'm trying to deal with school, and friends, and my program, and therapy, and my own fucking thoughts, and I had just gotten over my parents break up, and now my dad goes and pulls this shit. I was having the best week ever up until this morning. I had gotten over everything that I was feeling a couple of weeks ago. I havent cut in a week. I felt good, now its like...idk. Seriously, everyone says that suicide is selfish. But if I werent here all of the stress that I put on everyone else wouldnt be there anymore. Crap like this wouldnt have to happen anymore. I dont know how i'm going to do it, but this time i not pulling out. I cant deal with this, and i'm done.