For better or for worse Facebook and other social networking sites are a very present force in todays society. It's not hard to see why, they provide an easy way to kill time, keep up with old friends anywhere is the world and fulfill our human curioisities (everyone's a bit nosey deep down). The downside is the fact that it also allows you to vent your every thought to the masses. These thoughts are often surface level stuff, "Ted Fingermuffin is thinking about making some Toast LOL" While it may be a completely bland statement it's harmless enough. The problem is when they go below the surface and become quite intimate. "Ted Fingermuffin can't believe his wife just told him she's never really loved him. No wonder she always closed her eyes during sex. How can life get any worse?" Mary Fingermuffin: "You have bigger tits than me!" Clearly these two have issues, most married couples do... I just don't see why those issues need to be exploding onto my screen. Now I know what you're thinking. "Alt, this makes total sense but how do I keep my facebook account without sacrificing my dignity in the process?". I'm glad you asked, if you follow my simple status technique you'll be a facebook pro with your dignity intact. So you've got an idea for a status. Great. But hang on there cowboy! You need to ask yourself a couple of questions. 1. Would I feel comfortable announcing this to a room full of my closest family and friends? 2. Is this something people may find amusing? or interesting? If you answered "YES" to both then congratulations you can now move on to the next set of questions. If you answered "NO" to one or both then perhaps it's time to go back to the drawing board. 3. Could this get me fired? (yes it's happened) 4. Is this the sort of thing you'd hear in some adolescent emo song or see written in a 13 year olds diary? If you answered "NO" to either of these then you can post your status worry free. Now go have some toast and tell your friends if you enjoyed it or not.