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How To Have A Facebook Account And Hold On To Your Dignity


Tamer Of The LOLzilla
For better or for worse Facebook and other social networking sites are a very present force in todays society. It's not hard to see why, they provide an easy way to kill time, keep up with old friends anywhere is the world and fulfill our human curioisities (everyone's a bit nosey deep down). The downside is the fact that it also allows you to vent your every thought to the masses. These thoughts are often surface level stuff,

"Ted Fingermuffin is thinking about making some Toast LOL"

While it may be a completely bland statement it's harmless enough. The problem is when they go below the surface and become quite intimate.

"Ted Fingermuffin can't believe his wife just told him she's never really loved him. No wonder she always closed her eyes during sex. How can life get any worse?"
Mary Fingermuffin: "You have bigger tits than me!"

Clearly these two have issues, most married couples do... I just don't see why those issues need to be exploding onto my screen.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Alt, this makes total sense but how do I keep my facebook account without sacrificing my dignity in the process?". I'm glad you asked, if you follow my simple status technique you'll be a facebook pro with your dignity intact.

So you've got an idea for a status. Great. But hang on there cowboy! You need to ask yourself a couple of questions.

1. Would I feel comfortable announcing this to a room full of my closest family and friends?

2. Is this something people may find amusing? or interesting?

If you answered "YES" to both then congratulations you can now move on to the next set of questions. If you answered "NO" to one or both then perhaps it's time to go back to the drawing board.

3. Could this get me fired? (yes it's happened)

4. Is this the sort of thing you'd hear in some adolescent emo song or see written in a 13 year olds diary?

If you answered "NO" to either of these then you can post your status worry free.

Now go have some toast and tell your friends if you enjoyed it or not.


It's not me, it's you.
Oh. I enjoy the emo ones. They make me laugh...even though that is probably not the desired result. I also like to "like" those statuses just to be a cunt.


Living on the 0th floor
I was going to say, I like the facebook fights they give me a good life. I like people who choose to let their dignity fly out of the door.


Tamer Of The LOLzilla
Oh. I enjoy the emo ones. They make me laugh...even though that is probably not the desired result. I also like to "like" those statuses just to be a cunt.
I agree that some can be hilarious but there's also some that just make me cringe at my very core.


still nobody's bitch
My middle stepson just broke up with his girlfriend, and not liking her new relationship status was one of the hardest things I've had to do to. lol


This kind of thing is why I have Twitter haha. So I can post "I am contemplating some toast" without looking too much like a prat. I only use Facebook for more interesting things like, "Laurel just got the entire original cast of her favorite play to sign her copy of the published script!" (which did indeed happen this past week)


It's not me, it's you.
I don't care if I look like a prat at all. Which you would be able to tell if you were a friend of mine on there. LOL

I think I shall now go make a status about how I like my ears rubbed.


Registered Member
Usually I can't stand the amount of status updates, people using Facebook like Twitter, but after this weekend and my useless status posts, I can no longer complain, hah.


Sally Twit
That is pretty much the reason I never wanted to have an account. I only gave in because my GF friends started spending more time on there than on GF! I have to follow them.