How soon is too soon to move in together?

Aamane

New Member
#1
My boyfriend and I met online about 8 months ago. We met each other after 5 months of talking and falling in love online and have been together now for almost 4 months.
I travel 3 hours to his house every Sunday after work and return home to my parents house on Thursday mornings to go to work.
I'm a little bit over the travelling and I've been wanting to change jobs. We really miss each other in the few days I'm not there.
We've discussed me moving into his house and we are both agree it feels right, we are just a bit worried it's too early.
The way I see it is, if it wasn't going to work out, it wouldn't work out now or in the future if we waited o move in together or not...
But still, I am torn!
I'm wondering what are everyone's views on how long you should be together before you live together?
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#2
I don't think there is really any set time. If you feel that you are ready to make that step, then go ahead and do it. Just be smart about it and don't get yourself in a bind. If you have no future permanent plans, then use the proper contraception...have your own job and your own bank account...split up the bills accordingly, things like that. If you choose to move in, you should have financial independence as a roommate would.
 

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
#3
I can't talk from experience, but I've seen people break up after moving in together and they've been dating for five years. It's a big step to take, even though you know you guys are in love with each other, moving in is a whole different story, since you'll be seeing each other everyday, you'll have to adjust to his living habits and he'll need to do the same with you. You'll need to work out on things like groceries and accessories that you need to buy. The final decision is up to you, but make sure you think this over, before moving in with him.
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#4
While it's true that a lot of people break up, I don't think waiting would change that. People are different after you move in no matter how long you've been dating...so why waste the time?
Unless you're morally opposed to living together before marriage, I don't see a problem with moving in together after 8 months.
 

DLFerguson

Registered Member
#5
Give it at least a year before you move in together. And above all, keep your own separate bank account and your own job.
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
#6
In my experience, moving together because you miss each other too much isn't a good reason.

Moving together isn't just about seeing more of each other, although it is one of the most obvious benefits. You also have to be willing to give up part of your private space. Then there's the whole administrative things: figuring out how to split costs, house rules, etc. Somehow I find these different to discuss with a friend (like when you look for a housemate) than with a partner...maybe because these details are so unromantic. :lol:
 
#7
If you feel it's right and are able to get all the details sorted, then you'll never know unless you go for it. Waiting longer is only going to make you miss him inbetween more, and cloud your judgement for what's actually the most practical thing to do. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide.
 

Cait

Oh, poppycock.
#9
I agree with basically everything Anita said, but I just want to my two cents. You two should sit and really talk about it. Talk about all the possibilities. Even the possibility of you breaking up. Talk about how the rent is going go to go and talk about your friends. OH. He should meet your friends before he moves in and vice versa. That way when some visitors come it won't be a total surprise.
 
#10
Until after you are married, but then I'm a religious fuddy duddy.
Well, statistically, the best time for them to move together would be after they get engaged at the earliest. Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce. (Though this doesn't apply to couples who only moved in together after deciding to get married.)