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How Many People Have You Loved?


I had a co-worker tell me today that she has been in real, actual love 12 times. She's 24. That seems insane to me. So, seeing as everyone at PM has a good head on their shoulders, I need to ask this question. How many times have you truly been in love? Is 12 times by age 24 a little high or am I just a bitter shitbag? Or both?

Have a marvelous Saturday night everyone.

Go Golden Knights!


I ♥ Haters
I think she might be confusing infatuation with love. I know I have.

My number is relatively low. 2 for sure and 1 I'm still on the fence about almost 10 years later. For the ones that I know I loved for sure, I'm still with one and plan to be with him for a very long time. If there was such a thing as soulmates, this would almost be one. The other relationship kind of crumbled because of the pressures of long distance and my own issues that were going on at the time.

For the one I'm on the fence about, he was my first "love" per se, but I kind of got over him really fast. I attribute that to starting college and just being busy with entering adulthood. I go back and forth on it and I don't really have any feelings for him in retrospect. Maybe some nostalgia, but that's about it.
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My number is 4. Which is about 3 higher than I would have guessed had you asked me a decade ago. The first one was in high school. That one was a lot of fun.... but also stupidly dramatic and took a real toll on me. The second was a few years later, my brain was starting to break but I did the best I could. We even lived together for a while. That one went up in flames when I had zero interest in kids. I would then go on to ruin a really fun long distance one and then I got involved in a relationship that was 1000% doomed from the start.

Basically, I should hang a sign around my neck that says "Do Not Fall In Love With Me"... or something a like that, just maybe a little more clever. Haha.
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Registered Member
Nobody knows what love is until it hits them. Saying you were in love 12 times means you probably never have been in love.

I thought I was in love, even got married once - and it turned out it was not for real.

Then I met the love of my life. The difference is staggering.


Band Nerd ♫
Once, for sure. It all started a long time ago. She was very best friend. I trusted her enough to come out to her (which was a big deal). I had never had any attraction to her before this point, but then for some reason it started coming. We dated shortly thereafter, and I fell so deeply. Apparently she didn't fall as deeply and it ended pretty quickly. I was so crushed.

Four years later, we started getting close again. Although I had let the feelings go and thought I was over her, it just wasn't true. There was no one else who I felt so comfortable with, and who challenged me to do things I wouldn't have ever done otherwise (she was raised in a much different family from mine lol). But somewhere down the line something went wrong again. I had made some mistakes, but by the time I had realized it she had suddenly turned cold on me (this happened quite some time later, leading me to believe that something changed in her and it wasn't 100% me). I told myself for a very long time that is just the way she is, and that I would still be there for her if she so chose, as a friend or romantically. But eventually she grew too distant, and I learned that I had to move on. People were telling me that the mistakes I made were minor, but I couldn't see it.

So... I lost a best friend. The best friend I have ever had. Love sucks. :( (And here now I find myself attracted to another individual who is quite a loner as well, and apparently hasn't ever dated, either. Lol. I'm not going to find anyone ever at this rate)


Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
I know that I've loved one woman in my life. She's been in my mind every day since everything went down nearly ten years ago. Forgiveness is not an option for me. I just wasn't aware that letting go was, sadly, never more than quixotic.


Free Spirit
Staff member
Only once for me and I married him. I've had crushes but it wasn't love. When I met my husband that became very clear to me.


Registered Member
When I was in high school and had a crush on a girl, I always knew I wasn't in love and that it was just a crush, even back then, fortunately.


In terms of romantic love, and not simply prolonged infatuation, I'd have to say I have been in love 4 times, the last being the most intensely. She is now, and for the past 2 years been my BFF. It is only with this last relationship that I have gained a much greater understanding of what love is, or at least can be. We had been together romantically for over 8 years, and it really takes years for love to fully emerge from infatuation. Someone who is 24 has not been in love 12 times, nor probably has any idea what it means to really be in love yet. Love involves the willingness to make sacrifices for the well being, and not just the happiness of the other person. Love is, at it's core, selfless. The true test of love isn't when things are all unicorns and rainbows, but when walking together through the emotional mine fields. Facing challenges and obstacles that would blow up most relationships and finding the light at the end of the tunnel, over and over again. That's what love is really about. The rainbows and unicorns are just the frosting. :)