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How long should one wait?

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
How long would you all say someone should wait before they start dating again after a breakup?

I've heard people say ridiculous things like the heart takes a month to heal for every week you were together. Or similar nonsense to that. But saying that, clearly we all need time to heal our hearts after a breakup before we jump into the dating scene again.

So how long should one wait?
 

Elanor

Registered Member
I think it all depends on the individual, length relationship and depth of feeling. The 'month for every week of the relationship' sounds really silly. Some people can move on really easily, but some dwell and struggle to get over the end of a relationship.

I took a while to get over my ex-boyfriend, probably about a year, as I do tend to dwell and try and work out what I could done differently. In this case I was better off, but as I can be an idiot sometimes it took me a while to realise.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I would say its what is right for the individual. Some will probably want to date right away if they have been wanting out of the relationship for a while. If you didn't might not be a bad idea to wait a short time anyway but its still up to the individual. If you meet someone that you really hit it off with it might be worth the chance but I wouldn't date just for the sake of dating.
 

Misdoubt

Registered Member
Depends on the kind of relationship, and the relationship culture you adhere to, plus your own personal hoo-blah.

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Honestly at one point the idea of jumping from one low end one week sex based relationship to the next wouldn't of even phased me.

That is how it is with the modern relationship culture, it's no longer about staying with one person and clinging to them for dear life because people were afraid they wouldn't find someone else.

Now the whole hook up culture is cheap fast and isn't really about too much bonding, kind of what the name implies, just hooking up with random people for short amounts of time and moving on when putting any serious effort into the relationship comes up. So no serious bonding or anything really happens.

At this point I'd never do that and I'd stick with someone with the intent of making it all work, and really I'd say the longer you have bonded and grown uh, (dependent isn't the word I want to use but I'll go with that) dependent on another you get that gap is kind of a major downer, and well, the loss of someone that mattered.

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I don't know I think it is too difficult to come up with anything definite. It's not fair to the variables.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
I would say its what is right for the individual. Some will probably want to date right away if they have been wanting out of the relationship for a while. If you didn't might not be a bad idea to wait a short time anyway but its still up to the individual.
Some people seem to jump from one relationship to the next. I don't believe you can ever truly find what you are looking for in a life partner if you just jump into relationships for the sake of being in a relationship.

If you meet someone that you really hit it off with it might be worth the chance but I wouldn't date just for the sake of dating.
What if you meet a good potential partner, and decide you are ready to move on and you do, but as time passes, you realize that you weren't ready for a new relationship yet? Maybe waiting before dating that person would have had a different outcome than going in to everything too quickly and prematurely.

Honestly at one point the idea of jumping from one low end one week sex based relationship to the next wouldn't of even phased me.

That is how it is with the modern relationship culture, it's no longer about staying with one person and clinging to them for dear life because people were afraid they wouldn't find someone else.
I agree that there seems to be a culture like this, but I could never "adjust" to such a lifestyle. Call me a hopeless romantic. :)
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Some people seem to jump from one relationship to the next. I don't believe you can ever truly find what you are looking for in a life partner if you just jump into relationships for the sake of being in a relationship.
Some people continually have more than one relationship going on at one time. I don't think those types are ever happy with one person and it would be hard to be happy with them.

What if you meet a good potential partner, and decide you are ready to move on and you do, but as time passes, you realize that you weren't ready for a new relationship yet? Maybe waiting before dating that person would have had a different outcome than going in to everything too quickly and prematurely.
Maybe what really happened is after you got to know them you realized they just wasn't the person for you.

Sometimes when you were in a relationship you were wanting out of it has been over for some time for you and there's no feeling for that person left. In that case if you meet someone I don't see what it would hurt to date them. If your still in love with the person in a former relationship then no it wouldn't be a good idea to start dating. Not fair to you or the person you are dating.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
IMO the best way to determine when you're ready to date again is when you feel ready. I hate the idea of having a pointless rebound relationship quickly after a long relationship just to "get over" the previous significant other.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
IMO the best way to determine when you're ready to date again is when you feel ready. I hate the idea of having a pointless rebound relationship quickly after a long relationship just to "get over" the previous significant other.
I don't know how people even have the emotional capacity to jump around in relationships so easily. Finding a life partner isn't a task that should be taken too lightly.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
My point was that some people don't have emotional attachments to the "rebound' person. They're just there to be a glorified friend and it's completely selfish.
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
How long would you all say someone should wait before they start dating again after a breakup?
Like pretty much everything when it comes to relationships, there isn't an answer. If someone has checked out of a relationship mentally for a month already, when they actually break up that person is probably already looking to date other people. We all vary and it definitely depends on the situation and details of the past relationships.
 
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