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How do you deal with bad news?

EdgeHead

Registered Member
I had the idea for this thread because I - well, actually, my whole family - received some bad news tonight. See, my sister-in-law announced to us about a month ago that she was pregnant. Everyone was excited. She has an adorable (but hyperactive) 4-year old boy from a previous relationship but we've always treated him like he was a family member. It meant the world to my parents since it was supposed to be officially their first grandchild. Unfortunately, we've learned tonight that due to an ectopic pregnancy, she lost her baby as she was about 10 weeks into her pregnancy. Luckily, we were very few to know about it in the family since she wanted to wait until everything was safe and secure before announcing it to her friends and the extended family. Personally, I won't lie; I'm devastated. I was looking forward to officially be an uncle for the first time and my mom was hoping for the child to be born on her 57th birthday in October. So, naturally, I'm also thinking about how disappointed my parents and grandparents are. I'm aware that my grandparents are in their 80's now and my grandma's most precious wish is to see at least 1 grandchild grow up a bit before she & my grandpa passes on.

So, how do you deal with this kind of stuff? Are you like me and keep this all bottled up inside until you can't take no more? Do you seek someone to talk to immediately so you feel better? Do you reflect more about all kinds of stuff during those times?
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
Doesn't the 4-year-old count as a grandchild if it's part hers? Doesn't matter if the relationship between her and the guy is there anymore. The kid's still hers, so that still makes them grandparents.

????????

The baby's in heaven. Done deal. If she wants to try again, I've heard that trying again within the first 6 months increases the chances (or doesn't DEcrease it... I forget. It's been awhile for me).

And as far as the general answer to the question of how do I take bad news...

I look for solutions.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Something like this it will just take time. I'm sure she is devastated and the sudden change in hormones doesn't help either, major depression. Be supportive of her and when she is ready she can try again.

Is the 4 year old not her biological son?
 

Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
It's his sister in law, so the child would be her biological son, but not his biological nephew since he has no blood relations to her or the old father. from the context, I gather that the father of the lost child is edge's brother.

Anyways I deal with bad news as I always have, I shrug it off and continue. I'm so used to it at this point in my life, I actually sometimes have a harder time with good news lol.
 

EdgeHead

Registered Member
Smelnick's correct. The 4-year old isn't my biological nephew but my brother was the father of the lost child.
 

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
Depends on what kinda bad news it is, I guess. Little things like being passed up for a job, I'd probably be disappointed but it's easy to shrug that disappointment off - you just get back out there and keep applying. When it comes to people, it's a completely different story. I don't handle bad news regarding people very well. A couple of years ago someone very close to me died after struggling with ALS. I was at the store when I got the call. I had perhaps the most painful panic attack I've ever had in my life. My legs gave way and my lungs hurt with every breath I took. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure before I could walk to my car. The worst part was the phone call to my brothers. I really hope I never have to make a another phone call like that again.
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
Another one I never actually answered (except for individual poster's specific situation).

Again, depends on exact type. Usually it's somewhere in the way of getting things done and correcting the problem, when it is correctable. When it's not, I usually get over it pretty quickly because I don't understand getting upset about something that no one can do anything about. Plus, I don't need to be just another person who no one can go to about their bad news because of not handling it well, so I might as well handle bad news well myself so that people can be honest about it at least to me if no one else.

I know it's not a spam-response, but to me, it still feels like it.

Can't think of anything else. The "depends category" of stuff always is tough without depending on other peoples' situations.
 

Konshentz

Konshentz
Yeah, it definitely depends on what kind of bad news. Small stuff is very easy for me to shrug off and move on from.

The worst news I've ever received was that my brother had killed himself. I had never dealt with anything like that before, so I had no idea how I was supposed to handle it. I ended up going with the bottling it up and burying it deep approach. Probably not the healthiest. But as I watched everyone crumble around me, I figured it was my job to be the rock. I don't think I cried for the first month or so. Then I heard a certain song and lost my shit. I still kind of use that method now and days like today, that would've been his birthday, are rough. But that's probably the case no matter how you handle the initial news.
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
But as I watched everyone crumble around me, I figured it was my job to be the rock.
That's what I tried to say in THIS Man killed by meteorite, may be a first. TOPIC, but instead of "be the rock" it was more like "don't be like all these people around me who are doing all this right now".

So whether it's something like that last post here or something like I was saying about myself, some of us make it number 1 priority to make death not such a big deal anymore. So naturally... when it happens in something very very very UNlike last post... it comes across as no big deal.

No big deal. No big deal. No big deal. That's what natural accidents are and always will be.

NO.

BIG.

DEAL.

What??? I said when someone gets shot, then I'll see it as a horrible thing. So next time someone mentions going through something involving someone getting shot, I'm going RIGHT ON BACK to the meteorite death and pointing out how it's

NOOOOOOO

BIIIIIIIIIIG

DEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLL...

because stuff like last post is the real shit.
 
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