How do I move out of my parents' house?

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by MTim88, May 4, 2010.

  1. MTim88

    MTim88 New Member

    I'm a 27-year-old still living at home with my parents. We live outside a dingy little country town 20 miles removed from the nearest city. My parents have never commented on my still living with them but have come to rely on me to take over many of their responsibilties - looking after their pets, cleaning the house, etc. I desperately want to get out on my own, but I have no money, minimal college education, and no prospects of getting a job (I was downsized from a part-time job two years ago and haven't been accepted by any paying employer since). I have spoken to my parents about this and have asked them for help, but responses have been apathetic and unhelpful at best.

    I am not afraid of work and am currently working a volunteer job just to get out of the house during the day. I'm weeks away from getting my actual driver's license. Again, I have no money at all and no reliable friends or family members.

    I know my situation is pathetic, but can anybody give me advice on how to improve my situation and, above all, get me the heck out of this place?
     

  2. Sorrel

    Sorrel Registered Member

    Apply for jobs in another area, join the army or take a live-in servant's job.

    I don't think you should need or expect help from your parents at your age.
     
  3. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Yeah, joining the military might be a good idea, depending on your situation. Before you do, I'd STRONGLY recommend doing research into it to see if it looks promising. Way too many people join without knowing what they're getting into. Talk to people who are in, do some research online, etc. I'm in the US Army Reserves, so if you're interested in learning more about it, feel free to contact me (I'm not going to feed you lines or try to sell you on it; but I'm also not so bitter that all you get is how horrible the military is).

    Finding a job somewhere else can be a bit of a challenge, but might be your best bet.

    BTW, welcome to GF you two!
     
  4. agata

    agata Registered Member

    I think that in normal circumstances we should expect help from parents (as well as they should expect help from us) at any age as they're our family and a family should be generally supportive :) But what you need, MTim88, is some emotional encouragement as I'm sure that you are capable of being self-reliant. :) I think that you just should be more resolute when taking with your parents about your needs and your plans. You're not a child anymore. You have full right to live life of your own. Try to apply for a job in another area, as Sorrel said, borrow some money from parents in order to pay for a living and after some time give it back to them. The most important thing is to believe that you can change your life, otherwise you'll never fulfill your dreams. Good luck :)
     
  5. Mirage

    Mirage Administrator Staff Member V.I.P.

    It sounds like you already know what to do. Having no money, minimal college education, and no prospects of getting a job are the main things you need to deal with if you want to be able to live on your own. Without money you won't be able to pay rent. Without a job you won't be able to get money.

    I would say don't focus only on your current city. It sounds like it's in the middle of nowhere. Look for the closest bigger city and start applying there. If you get a job there then you can move there and you'll be out. Money is your biggest problem right now and you won't solve that without solving the job problem as well. The college education issue isn't the end of the world, but it would certainly allow you to get a higher paying job.

    Living on your own is a lot different than moving out and being hooked up by reliable friends or family members. You're really already doing that now if you are looking for free rent. You shouldn't expect to move in with other people for free. If that's your plan then you haven't really moved forward. I mean, you're parents seem reliable in that department already. Your goal should be to be self sustaining and self supporting, not just moving out of your parents house. You definitely need an income. Once you get that taken care of you'll know what your options are housing or apartment-wise.

    If it's advice then that's one thing, but you shouldn't expect them to help you financially if that's what you are asking for.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  6. JessEpiphany

    JessEpiphany Registered Member

    Can you get funding for school? (Grants and such.) And would it be possible to get to school?
    I honestly think that would be your best option. It might mean you would still have to live with mom and dad until you graduate and get a job, but it would mean more stability in the long run, I think.
     
  7. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    That's normal. It's not only their responsibility to take care of themselves and house but it's also YOUR responsibility to take care of them and the house, as well.
    When living together, everyone has responsibilities about anything.

    Also, given that your living at THEIR house, it's your double responsibility to do something for them, don't you think ? ;)


    You should be respectful and thankful for that place and your parents.
    Because, with no money, no college, no work - you wouldn't be able to breathe if your parents didn't keep you at THEIR home.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2010
    Bliss likes this.
  8. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    You shouldn't rely on your parents to help you. They've helped you enough by letting you stay there rent free. You should do all of the chores if I'm honest. You're not paying them anything so I think as their son you should feel you owe it to them.
    I refuse to believe you can't get any job. There are so many jobs.. You could stack shelves, clean, collect glasses at a bar or something. I think you should look harder to be honest.
     
  9. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    okay, First things first, stop working for free and find yourself a paying job. It doesn't matter if you're working at Microsoft handing out mail or down on Wall Street, a paying job is a paying job.
    Secondly, you don't need to say anything to your parents, you're a grown man and can make your own decisions; save up some money and in the mean time start looking for a room to rent (out of town / in town / out of state - WHERE EVER! just get out there!!!) where you can start out on your own but do not (and I repeat do not!) go head-first into renting your own apartment unitl you are financially stable enough to support yourself or you've got someone (a friend / family member) who is reliable, dependable and trustworthy that is willing to rent a house / apartment with you.
    ...Again, these are just baby steps but it will help get you from point A to point B until you are financially stable enough to actually live on your own / support yourself, etc.

    Hope this helped a little.
     
  10. MTim88

    MTim88 New Member

    Hey, thanks to everybody who's taken the time to reply to me thus far. All of your replies have been helpful...and in the meantime, please keep them coming. I'm so glad I found this forum.
     

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