Homosexuality

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by Babe_Ruth, Aug 21, 2006.

  1. Babe_Ruth

    Babe_Ruth Sultan of Swat Staff Member V.I.P.

    Alright this happened to me two years ago, and I needed some advice back then. But this could happen to someone else, so what should someone do?

    Since Kindergarden till 12th grade I had the same best friend, and after we graduated from High School we still hanged out and everything, he worked at the same place as I did, and one day he drove me back home, and before I got out the car he told me he was gay. I was really surprised and shocked, and I didn't know what to say. It's been at least one or two years since then, and now I don't even talk to him. I accept it, but it's just different, call me anything you want, it's just that I think he prefers to hang out with is own kind.


    Now my question is what should I have done, to prevent me losing him has a friend?

    If you need more info about the situation, then let me know and i'll tell you.
     

  2. Hinata

    Hinata La Coquette

    Um tell me the situation again Vince.. I see myself going all out and trying to give you advice on how to save the friendship right now!!!
     
  3. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    Good thing that you accepted it

    You still should be friends

    Did he say to you that he doesnt wanna hang out with you or you told him that you dont wanna hang out with him?
     
  4. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    Vince:

    I would submitt to you that you really haven't lost this friend. You just took some time out and put the friendship on hold until you came to terms with his announcement. What you need to do now is find a way to get in contact with him, letting him know you're sorry that the two of you drifted apart, but his initially coming out to you came as a total surprise and you didn't know how to handle it at the time. Be willing to apologize and let him know your friendship is unconditional, regardless of his sexual orientation. I think you'll feel better for doing it.


    Hoosier.
     
  5. oxyMORON

    oxyMORON A Darker Knight

    You guys haven't talked since he told you he was gay? If so, then maybe you should've told him it was okay. He's not going to hurt you or anything.
    If you tell him you're not gay, but you can still be friends, he'll most likely understand.

    After all, no one's expecting you do go anywhere with this guy.
     
  6. Kazmarov

    Kazmarov For a Free Scotland

    You need to remind yourself that sexual orientation is yet another preference, and in reality doesn't change the person at all, though your view of him may be different.

    I don't think that's the truth. If you were best friends for so long not much can tear you guys apart. Perhaps he's retreated into his lifestyle because he's afraid of others, maybe not you in particular. You have to be really warm and accepting to make sure your friendship back on track.

    Kaz
     
  7. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm the friend that everyone goes to and one of my best friends whom I've known since 5th grade confided in me that he was gay a few years ago. It was strange, because I had this sense that he wanted to tell me but was afraid to, probably thinking that I would avoid him. It's hard to do from what I saw him go through. The ridicule, the harassment and the overall embarassment he had to deal with would have crushed many people.
     
  8. Babe_Ruth

    Babe_Ruth Sultan of Swat Staff Member V.I.P.

    I think it's too late to confront him, because I've heard he's going threw major changes, what I mean by that is that he's taking pills to change himself into a women. Also I already told him that I was o.k with it, we still talk from time to time after he told, it's just when he quit is job, that's when it fell apart.

    Thanks for the good advice guys.
     
  9. Hinata

    Hinata La Coquette

    Well then the way it came out is how it came out. He's changing himself so therefore he is the one in fact isolating himself. I know it doesn't help to say that now but I hope that he doesn't lose such a good friend. But you can only do that keep in touch every now and then.

    Trust me. The fact of just being out of high school changes the total realm a friends you have and keep. So that may be it too. He may be trying to leave his old life behind. One that unfortunately does not include you.
     
  10. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    Hmm... There maybe something that is bothering him. Maybe he took your reaction the wrong way. I remember when I came out to one of my friends, she had this really surprised look on her face and she smiled. She didn't say anything, just walked away. We don't talk much anymore, but occasionally, she will call me a whore and push me in the hallway. Of course, I chase after her and we horse play for a minute. Then it goes back to normal. *Shrugs.*
     

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