Hold me, baby

Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by Merc, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Just a quick poem I wrote the other week. I was in a really gloomy mood, so I'm sure it shows.

    ------------------------

    Hold me baby
    Only lonely
    A house before me
    The windows misshapen cruelly

    Dimmed vision through clouded glass
    I wonder how long I'll last
    For fractured legs and demon's breath to pass

    Drink me hollow
    Icy white to follow

    I'm done
     

  2. Kyo_Muramasa

    Kyo_Muramasa Nefarious Kaizoku Capt'n

    I like it, it's something I haven't heard before or anything that's like it, Write more!^^; Geez that poem gave me a cold chill down my spine too >>; The one thing I liked was how one thing went with another to describe the scene/vision u wanted ppl to see Merc.
     
  3. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    I liked it up until the fractured legs and demon's breath. That just doesn't seem to fit.


    Hoosier.
     
  4. Corona

    Corona Registered Member


    LOL





    ....
     
  5. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    Very nice Merc. I really like the couplet at the end.
     

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