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High Standards

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
Is it odd to have high standards, as far as sex and relationships are concerned?

I think this might have come to my attention because of how I am, and also from input by others. For instance, certain people I know have stipulated that I could most probably 'woo' a girl who is good looking, some have described the appearance of a good looker being petite, cute, etc.

I don't think I really needed telling this, I guess I've always preferred the idea of dating somebody who is, to me, good looking. Their descriptions usually seem correct, to me.

This draws my attention to another point:
Is it norm for people to have low standards? As in, they will fuck anything that moves... and not be picky. It is weird, because certain highly possible, heck, probable, scenarios have arisen for me in which sex, or even a relationship has been on the cards, yet I have steered clear due to this notion of high standards. Perhaps it is a shallow mindset (I hope not), and probably (definitely) explains why I haven't been storming the trenches as of late (to steal a quote).

What do you reckon?
Is having high standards in this area wrong, immoral or otherwise? I mean should I be ashamed of my personal preferences and convictions, seeing as they are directed at a stereotypical vision of beauty.
Is this a rife attitude? Are you like this?
Is it all a myth, and instead more to do with the idea of general compatibility.
e.g. I'm pretty tall, so it'd be more fitting for me to seek a tall partner?

Just wondered if others have any points to make about this. Perhaps this is a convoluted subject, perhaps the media is to blame for portraying scantily clad, big-breasted bimbos as the supremacy of womanhood. Also, I expect this goes both ways. Men to women, women to men --- heck, even women to women and men to men I'd expect.

Big subject perhaps. But why not contribute. - Experiences, ideas, opinions.

Thoughts? Did that even make sense?
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
Either high or low standards, people have their personal preferences.

Personally, I have high standards but I never say never. I mean, who knows what happens?
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having high standards.
 
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Dabs

Registered Member
I have high standards, high expectations.....high hopes too *haha*
I won't have sex with just anything that has a penis.......there are a great many things for me to consider before I go to bed with a man~
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
I have standards, and I would consider them high I guess. I like girls that are fit and cute, have a great personality and fun to talk too. I like girls with a sharp mind. Basically a girl that I can bring home and meet my mother.
 
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Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
I don't have strict standards but I do have preferences. I won't date a smoker, anyone that's too horribly out of shape, rude, self-centered, uses any drugs beyond weed, and so on. I don't really have many physical standards beyond am arbitrary "cuteness" scale.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
I don't have high standards as much as I have high expectations.

There are certain things in a person I really think are important and must hit certain standards. It's not anything ridiculous either...just stuff I feel is important. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
 

Konshentz

Konshentz
I don't have high standards. They definitely need to be cute, even if I'm the only one who thinks so, they have to be funny, some intelligence would be nice... and I'd prefer them not to use any hard drugs, but I can make exceptions depending on just how "cute" they are. Haha.
 

PretzelCorps

Registered Member
I've said on numerous occasion, it's 'high standards' when someone likes you and you don't like them back, but it's 'shallow' when you like someone, and they do not like you back. Which is to say that interpretation is usually subjective.

I would say that I do think a lot of people confuse 'high standards' with 'utter shallowness'. I've met plenty of guys who start listing all of the 'noble' values they'd like in a girl, only to watch them chase after a barbie doll who forgot her brain in her purse at home; the whole 'I want someone smart and special and won't settle for blah blah blah,' is really just a kind of front to make incidental (and entirely unmeant) compliments to butter her up (presumably so her pants slide off easier). I wouldn't say it really offends me to no end, though --> Vanity is almost always its own punishment.

That said, everyone has 'high' standards. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. I don't think it's unreasonable at all for like to look for like; tall people like tall people, fit people like fit people, clean people like clean people. I could start listing traits I find attractive in women, but I'm beginning to think it would be a lie, myself --> I just can't qualify what makes me attracted to a person anymore. Sometimes it's a face, sometimes it's a glance, sometimes it's a personality trait; I've found girls of all shapes and sizes attractive, and beyond listing the obvious traits of like size, like hygiene, and like disposition/intellect, I can't really say there's any unifying character to them.

:dunno: One of those mysteries of life, I guess.
 
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oxyMORON

A Darker Knight
I don't have strict standards but I do have preferences. I won't date a smoker, anyone that's too horribly out of shape, rude, self-centered, uses any drugs beyond weed, and so on. I don't really have many physical standards beyond am arbitrary "cuteness" scale.

I used to have incredibly high standards. Well, not so much standards, but just a lot of little nit-picky things, which in the end made it damn near impossible to find a girl. I learned to not care so much.

I agree it's not being shallow. People just have preferences.

I also came to realize that many people use high standards as an excuse for not being able to find a partner. Often times we'll try to set him or her up with someone but they're just like nah, I don't like this or that about him/her. I find that to be pretty sad.
 

fractal

Eye see what you did ther
That said, everyone has 'high' standards. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
That isn't always true. Let's say a person expecting a partner with certain standards isn't able to find anyone who is also interested in him. He will progressively lower his standards and expectations till he finds a partner who is also interested in him. Sure, the person of his dreams may meet his standards, but the person he settles down with may not. Of course, there will be people who would rather stay single than have a relationship with someone, but they do not form the majority.
 
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