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Helping a friend

Fearisathief

New Member
I was'nt quite sure where I should turn for this one so I decided to sign up here for some helpful advice.
I'll start off by saying that the friend I'm seeking to help out is only 19 and has been having problem after problem through his lifetime, over the past few years he's become a heavy drinker (despite having an alcoholic father) and obsessive with drugs. He's said outright to me several times how he's ashamed of what he does and really want's to quit but then within a week is back to old habits. Everything I try to help him get free of it has hardly worked at all. If anyone has some advice on how I can help him out here im all ears :D

Also the same friend has recently found out his father hasn't got long left to live due to failing organs caused by excessive drinking. He brings the subject up with me occasionally and we talk about it but I'm just at a loss for words, I never quite know what to say or how to relate with it. If the time comes i want to know what i should say or do to help him through it.

There is quite alot more to it then just that, more then I could possibly explain. If there is anyone who can help me to help him, that would be greatly appreciated :D
(Hope I posted this in the right place)
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
Well your friend has admitted he has a problem so it sounds like he is willing to seek help. The best thing you can do is find an AA programme that he could join. He is very young and I am sure they can get him out of this before it causes serious problems.
I am sorry to hear about his father. Hopefully that will encourage your friend further and he'll stop drinking.

If you make sure you friend knows he has your full support and you encourage him to take these steps then hopefully he will quit these bad habits.

Good luck and also welcome to GF.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
Sadly, there's not much you can do. The decision resides with him. It can be a long time, or something bad can happen before his "hit bottom" arrives. In the meantime, you can make your thoughts clear. Tell him of your concern for his well being, tell him you don't condone it, remind him of the dangers. Don't ever go out drinking with him. Refrain from interacting or being available when he's drunk. Mostly importantly, assure him you will support and help in any way when he decides to get help. Lead him AA or therapy, a offer a soft shoulder to cry on.....
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
Honestly, there's not a whole lot you can do to help an addict. It's sad but true. The person with the problem is the only one who can do anything about it. You can support him however he needs it, but that's about it.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
You need to help him convince himself that he needs help. He'll just end up drinking himself to death, too, if he doesn't seek out professional help.
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
Quitting from alcohol is tough, it takes a lot well power and determinaton. I used to get wasted on a nightly basis, I would hit up the same bar every night, get hammered and walk home. Some friends of mine told me I need to lay off the alchohol but I didn't listen. So one day I decided that I am going to stop drinking for 6 months. I quit just like that, but boy it was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. Your friend needs to make the decision himself. All you can do is be there for him and just try to keep on being there for him. He is listening to you whether you know it or not, admitting that he has a problem is tough, it is a lot easier said than done, but he has admitted it and now all you can do is wait.
 
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