Help! What can I do to help my Mom?


Registered Member
My mother is going through a very rough time. Everyone at her job is always putting her down because she is a Secretary and they see her as nothing. Her boss even told her that she wouldn't be able to advance to a higher position in the company until he gives the ok for the papaerwork to go through for the advancement but he won't do that because he doesn't like her. She is more than qualified to become a manger since she has a Masters in Business Managment. Her bank has also taken $400 out of her account for no real reason. She checked her statement and saw it only had $90 in there. She asked the bank and they said that they took the $400 as "fees" so that when she overdrafts her account they can take it from that instead of having to take it out every time.

I don't think this is fair or legal at all since how could they know if she would overdraw the account or not. They shouldn't just be able to take the money from her account like that. I've given her $500 to replace the money but still... Also none of the places she has applied to for a Manager job have replied back except for a few which told her she needed previous managerial experience which she doesn't have. How can I help my Mom in her time of need? Sadly, I have no job and live with her because I go to college and I have been unable to find a full-time job because no one is hiring in my area. I would give anything to help her out even if it meant moving out and living on the streets just so that she could have more money for her bills.


Certified Shitlord
If she has a masters, she shouldn't be a secretary. She should demand change or start looking for a new job.


my bologna has a 1st name
Her bank has also taken $400 out of her account for no real reason. She checked her statement and saw it only had $90 in there. She asked the bank and they said that they took the $400 as "fees" so that when she overdrafts her account they can take it from that instead of having to take it out every time.
pika, that sounds hokie...what bank does she use?
i don't want to be a pesimistic, but are you sure that they 'just' took it, or was it 'owed' rather. I mean I have had some strange things happen with banks, but i've never heard of preventive fees...

i know i don't know your mom, but if something like this has happened, she must have a history of it or something. I know my mom would tell me whatever just so that she wouldn't look financialy un-stable, esp if I were in a financial state to help her, my mom would so blame the bank.


Registered Member
She uses Fifth Third bank. She does have bad credit but she doesn't owe the bank any money since she just opened the account two weeks ago because the credit card companies were threatening to take money straight out of her previous bank acccount to get their money she owes them.

The only reason her credit is so bad though is because my dad had taken my mom's credit cards and spent thousands of dollars just living it up while we were struggling to pay the rent and buy food. What makes matters worse is that my mom took out loans to pay for school to get her Masters and now she owes $45,000. The school has given her 6 months to pay it back or else they will garnish her wages since it was set up through her work(which doesn't help pay her loans in anyway because she's only a secretary) and they gave them permission to do so.
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Sounds like a pretty bad situation. I think, in all honesty, the best thing to do would be to find a financial consultant. If the father still has a hold on those credit cards, cancel them, so he can't run up more of a bill. She probably had that $400 taken out because of the fact that her credit is so bad, and the last thing you need is for him to create more of those little "surprises". In terms of its legality, unfortunately, I'm sure they can do that. A lot of smaller banks are starting to go under, and I've never heard of the bank she uses, so I'm sure they're pulling all the tricks they have up their sleeves to stay afloat until this world-wide recession ends. If she's got a masters, I agree that it's time to start looking for a new job. While a secretary is ESSENTIAL to any business, they sure as hell don't get the kind of respect they deserve. She needs to find some place that does give her that respect. Now, back to my point about the financial consultant. It might cost a little money, but they can help you get on a track to work out of the extreme debt she's suffering right now. Whether she should file for bankruptcy, consolidate her loans, or some other solution, an consultant would be able to tell you exactly what to do to solve your problem. I'd love to help you, but I doubt anyone on here has the kind of expertise you need to solve that problem, especially with that tiny amount of background information. Good luck! I hope things work out for you.


my bologna has a 1st name
well, then with what information you have given, it sounds like your mom is a load of debt, and with that I can understand why a bank would do what they did.

its sounds like your mom maybe in a lil more deep than you alone can help. I understand about your dad doing whatever, but a credit establishment/bank isn't gonna care. If you really wanna help, the best thing to do is get a job. living on the street will do nothing but ruin your mom more to see her baby on the street. The best advice i can give is to listen when she cries and be there when she falls. What may actually have to happen is you take a semester off or so and work for your family. Whether it be mcds or the shell station down the road, you may have to do this to survive, it happens. i'm sorry if this isn't helpful, but i hope its thought provoking...


Registered Member
What the bank is doing is complete bullshit, I've heard of them taking cash out of your savings account to protect if you actually do overdraft but nothing like that. As far as her job goes basically all you can do is give moral support and hope she either finds a new job where she will be more respected or find a way to get her boss to forward the paperwork.

It may not be because he doesn't like her... it may simply be because she is female it's a sad thing but it still happens everywhere. My guess is her boss is a sexist bastard.


Registered Member
I think your mum needs to learnt how to say no in work. Tell her to read up on her job description. As for the bank, maybe it time for a change there too !


Boom Boom Pow!
She should be more assertive in her work. She should show her boss what she brings to the company and also how good she works. You should help build up her confidence by telling her how good she is. Then she will be able to be more assertive in her job. If she is and her boss is still nasty about it then I think that maybe she should start looking for another job... A job that will appreiciate (sp?) she qualifications more.