HELP! Big situation on my hands! :(

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by kgw10, Mar 20, 2008.

  1. kgw10

    kgw10 New Member

    At the start of December me and my bf were going through a rough time and I didnt know if I wanted to be with him anymore - he was quite an arse to me for about a year n half and I was sick of it. But when I told him that he either got his act together or I would leave, he did everything he possibly could not to lose me n was really gr8.
    I met this guy through a friend and I went out with him a few times while this was all happening with my bf, one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him in spite of my bf being wonderful.
    I told my friend what had happened and she blabbed to my bfs m8, who then of course told my boyfriend. We have had the horriblest 3 months ever and he is stopping me from seeing my friends because thats where I said I was when I was out with that guy. I haven't seen my friends in 3 months apart from 5 times (new year, my 18th and 3 lunches) he is now saying that I have to give one of my best friends up because he doesn't like her and that I'm not allowed to go out with my friends until he says so because he doesn't trust me! Is he right to do so?? He says if I love him then I will do it - I know that I love him and that what happened was the biggest mistake of my life, but is he taking it too far? Its my friends leaving night next weekend becuase she is moving away to work and I really would like to go, none of my friends understand what is happening and wonder why I'm never out with them - I used to be out every single weekend. I feel as if I'm missing my clubbing days and should be out having a good time with my friends - not constantly being with him.

    Please help me!!!!
    xx
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2008

  2. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    If he is controlling your life he doesn't love you. Obviously though you dont seem to be the most trusting person so I understand where he is coming from.

    But he is being overbearing talk with him about it and deal with it. You 18 your BF should not be tying you down.

    Now if he was your husband that would be a different story.
     
  3. kgw10

    kgw10 New Member

    I do realise that I betrayed his trust, but what happened is totally not like me, normally I'm the nicest person and would do anything for anyone and then at that time something came over me.
    I never meant for it to happen it was very spurr of the moment but I do understand that I shouldn't really of been meeting him in the first place. I know that I have to earn trust from him but I'm not sure how I can do that if he doesnt let me out (any ideas?).
    I know where he is coming from but I think he is taking it too far - I'm so used to going out with my friends every weekend and having a laugh and now I feel as if I can't do anything at all without being criticised. All my friends keep asking me to go out and I feel as if I can't tell them whats happening so I think they feel as if I'm trying to avoid them and not coming out anymore.

    Such a Catch 22 situation :( x
     
  4. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    it's time to move on, sister. kick him to the curb.

    seriously, run screaming. don't EVER stand for someone who tells you who you can and cannot be friends with.
     
  5. kgw10

    kgw10 New Member

    true.....

    I do really love him and I've been with him for 2 years - I understnad hes hurt but hes seriously taking this too far lol!
    x
     
  6. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    Please understand that isolating you from your friends is the first step in most abusive relationships. This is a huge warning sign and your best indicator that you need to get away from him now.
     
  7. Easily-Amused

    Easily-Amused http://easily-amused.com/

    I agree with Jeanie.
    I can see where he's coming from at first, but its getting out of hand. GET OUT.
     
  8. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    Dump the tool, and get over him.
     
  9. fleinn

    fleinn 101010

    Oof. I dated a girl who had a boyfriend like that. She never got over how nice he would be to her, before she found herself having to earn all the nice.. by following after the guy like a shadow, and being exactly how he wanted. And in the end she even felt guilty for "betraying him". I think it was something about forgetting to call in and report when he came home from work, or something like that.

    Gotta Get Away - Lyrics
     
  10. Iris

    Iris rainbow 11!

    Listen to all of us, you need to dump him and now. He doesn't love if you if he is keeping you away from your friends.
     

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