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Handling bad News


aka ginger warlock
I am more than willing to admit I am not exactly great at handling bad news, I never have been and I don't think I ever will be, a friend pointed this out to me this weekend saying I needed to control my emotions, that I should not overreact, at first I was angry, I won't lie, I wasn't over reacting in the situation, I was just disappointed, but the most I thought about the more I though "well maybe they have a point" and I did calm down a little.

But how do you handle bad news? How do you handle disappointment? Do you get angry or mad? Do you get upset? How do you go about getting over it?


Sally Twit
I tend to freak out. I found out my mum was ill last year and got myself very worked up. I should have been supportive and positive, but instead I got upset and panicked. My sister is the best at remaining calm in bad situations, so I always turn to her.

When I found out my sister and her ex were getting divorced, I broke down before she'd even had a chance to tell me why. Turns out he was an abusive scumbag and I instantly hated myself for being upset, when I should have been happy for my sister for getting out. I definitely react first, ask questions later. Really need to work on that.


Registered Member
I'm pretty straight faced when being told massive news. I think working at the hospital for so long as numbed some of those feelings. I don't get too excited when people get injured either. I just take a look at what's going on and see what I can do or what needs to be done.


yellow 4!
I'm very fortunate to not have had much experience with bad news. None of my immediate family members or friends have died yet, and that really scares me. Of course it's a good thing, but scary having no clue knowing how I'll handle it.

That's the worst kind of bad news you can give me, anyway. There's obviously a ton of others that I have dealt with, but none horrifying. If I'm given bad news then it tends to consume my thoughts and get me down, but I do my best to not show it on the outside. Which isn't healthy, but I'm not a sharing type of person usually. I don't like to appear disappointed about things that really get to me.

For example, when I found out I didn't get into my first choice university by one mark on one exam paper, I shrugged it off and made out like I had been half-considering taking a gap year anyway.

And hey, if it wasn't for that gap year, I would never have joined GF (cont...would never have met kevin. would never have met so many awesome people on this site. would never have done the road trip I'd been dreaming about since I was a kid). So, I like to think that good can always come from bad and that is how I try to view most bad situations. My initial reaction might not be so positive though, depending on the news itself.

Phew, that post was dangerously close to getting sentimental.


Creeping On You
I tend to handle it pretty well. I'm fairly used to disappointment so its pretty easy for me to shrug off. Its not so much that I ignore it, its just that I've learned how to process it and not let it interfere with my day to day process. I take time to let myself feel the bad news, i let myself get upset and then after a couple days it just becomes part of my experiences, part of my growth as a person and I move on to the next step.


Living in Ikoria
Staff member
I usually go into shut down mode...not ignoring a situation or people that need me at all, but just kind of keeping things inside and handling the situation until it's passed. I always focus more on taking care of others and making sure they're ok, and admittedly I like that better than taking care of myself. For example, a good friend of 13 years passed away this month after battling cancer for a few years. I just kind of bared down and handled the wake, helped those that needed comforting, and tried to stay as stoic as possible.