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Movies Halloween (2007) Review (Spoilers)


Film Elitist
Written and Directed by Rob Zombie
Original Screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Produced by Malek Akkad
Dimension Films

I don’t see what is remotely appealing about any of Rob Zombie’s filmography. His films carry less dignity and shame than the SAW franchise. When I heard that Rob Zombie had acquired the rights to one of my favorite horror films my heart sank. Those who know me understand that I’m not a fan of remakes to begin with but this went staggeringly beyond the average frustration.

For the record, am I the only one finding it strange and perturbing that the movie takes place in Illinois but half the cast sound like they live in a trailer park just outside of Little Rock? Are there really that many rednecks migrating to the suburbs of that state? No, it’s simply the reoccurring trend that Rob Zombie has used in all his movies in that no matter where the setting is, many if not all the characters are neanderthal hicks. What is it about the trailer trash motif that Rob Zombie feels the need to embed it into all his movies?

Right from the get-go I can see this movie is standing on the edge of a cliff and the next hour and a half is simply all the sharp jagged rocks it slams into on the way down. We see Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) at age 10 but we don’t just witness the horrific unexplained murder of his sister. Encontrare. We not only see him murder his sister and nearly his entire family but we are privileged to dwell into the psyche of Michael Myers and why he became the monster that he is. What is the reason you ask? Why redneck, backwoods, trailer trash parenting of course! Michael Myers becomes a serial murderer is due to his abusive, redneck stepfather who is a few barrels short of a shotgun, his mother is an enabler and stripper wife, his older sister is a high school tramp, he’s bullied in school and kills small animals. If these are the reasons that Michael goddamned Myers becomes an unstoppable, merciless killer who can withstand multiple gunshots, impalings and high velocity impacts only to walk away then I recommend the FBI keep a closer eye on the south. Luckily for the residents of Haddonfield, Illinois, the Myers seem to be the only family of dysfunctional hicks to venture above the Mason-Dixon line into their quiet little town.

Don’t get me wrong; I get that’s an abominable childhood to endure and that’s enough to warp someone’s sense of morality. I’m mere pointing out the absurdity of the situation. For the first half hour we get this sob story about Michael Myers’ inbred upbringing in an attempt to empathize with him and I don’t understand why. Michael Myers doesn’t need that kind of characterization. It’s what made him frightening in the original. You have this unassuming young boy who senselessly murders his sister with no explanations as to why but simply that he’s evil. In Rob Zombie’s delightful reboot, he gives us an exhausted trip into a drawn out backstory to try to understand the psyche of Michael Myers. The less you know about him the scarier he is. Of course as his previous films dictate, Rob Zombie is a big fan of the gore and disgust factor (or G&D tactic if you will), which has been dominating the horror genre lately. Though I remind you that my opinion is clearly biased due to my disdain for remakes and my appreciation for the original so by all means take my rantings with a grain of salt.

So as the story goes, Michael Myers gets put away and observed by Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) until he breaks out and tries to kill his younger sister fifteen years later. Okay, I honestly thought Malcolm McDowell would’ve made a great Dr. Loomis but his acting is so dilapidated it’s like he’s not even trying and I can’t really say I blame him. This is by far the worst I’ve ever seen him in anything he’s ever done. The way he spews dialogue it’s as if he’s reading it off the script for the first time. He carries the charisma of a leper amputee with no health insurance and his professional impressions of Michael Myers could only be described as painfully obvious. As for Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton), aside from being a cute face with a kind of bubbly personality you’d find at a liberal arts theater school, her dialogue might as well be in jibberish. Then again she’s par for course as far as this movie is concerned.

As already stated, Rob Zombie is a fan of the G&D tactic in his filmography and this movie is evidence of the fact. Horror movies of today aren’t horror movies. A horror movie is supposed to inspire and induce fear. If Rob Zombie’s Halloween induced fear in you, you’re either 6 years old or have a fear of bad southern accents and I have no sympathy for you. Too many movies mistake and substitute the ideas of cringing and fear and cringing is to fear what Megadeth is to Metallica. In my very elitist opinion they should be two separate genres since one is significantly cheaper than the other. It’s a piece of piss to make someone cringe; it’s quite another to produce a continuous psychological fear of the action. Ambiance, tension,
suspense; elements Rob Zombie’s work lacks in spades.

Once again another tarnished remake emerges from the bowels of Hollywood or in this case, the Midwest. The only real positive criticism I can deliver about Rob Zombie’s work is his consistency; The acting in all of his movies is deplorable on every level, his style is tactless and i
f I were so self-indulgent to put my wife in all of my movies in a leading role I’d at least have the decency to give her a useful character premise.

If this remake wasn’t based on one of my favorite horror films of all time I might be kinder about this review but the fact of the matter is this: Rob Zombie took an amazing horror film, stripped it for parts and then spread his redneck, trailer trash motif all over what was left with one flaccid cockslap.

Happy Halloween fuckhead.


aka ginger warlock
I did watch the re-imagining of Halloween (zombie made it clear this was not a re-make which is the ONLY thing I will give him credit for) but to be honest after 20 minutes I turned it off. The reason I turned it off was for one simple reason, the abusive father and alcoholic mother. Oh, mister Zombie? Is that the reason Myres was insane and kill everyone, but wait, if that is your take on it you clearly missed the point of Halloween, did you not get the whole point of the original was that your DIDN'T know why Myres was insane? Clearly you didn't.

See this film is a classic example of why these films should not be made, if you are going to make a film based on an original piece at least try to do it in a way that it could be at least compared. Take "I Spit on your Grave", was the remake a perfect film? No, it wasn't but that didn't matter because the tale itself in the remake was good enough to stand on its own.

The problem the way I see it is this, when people look at films like this they think it is easy to make a slasher film because they see a few simple elements that can easily be carbon copied without taking the time to look into what made them great to begin with.
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