• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Guys Who Beat Up Their Wives Should Mess With Someone Their Own Size

Impaired

Registered Member
Abusers MAKE their victims feel weak. This is how they gain control.
 

CaptainObvious

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
My husband use to work with a guy that was being abused by his wife. I felt sorry for him. Sometimes men are the victims.
Unfortunately this does happen as well. Anyone who abuses another is a sack of shit.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Unfortunately this does happen as well. Anyone who abuses another is a sack of shit.
She actually held a gun to his head once. He only stayed with her because of their daughter. Think they are divorced now but not sure.
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
I used to think that people simply do it as a power trip. Can be physical, verbal, or mental. But it implies intention. What if they do it because because they're unaware that they're wrong? Or somehow they're conditioned to think it's THE way to do things. They weren't taught otherwise. Sort of like in cultures where it's seen as a good or justified thing and they're "teaching" the other to behave "properly". It's a mix of several factors including ones beyond the control of the abuser, like a reflex. Having them beaten up by a stronger person might not fix things unless they're only doing it for lack of empathy or they didn't think of consequences.

If we want to see less of this horrible behavior we just don't change the abuser, we educate people around him, we make systems that discourage his behavior and empower the targets/victims, a cultural mindshift might even be in order for the society he lives in. It's a long process. Or we can go the easy way and just train female victims to cut off balls, haha. Not sure what would be the equivalent for male counterparts.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
I should preface this by saying that since most of you have gotten to know me I've been accused of abuse by someone who abused me and neglected our son. It was very traumatic for us and, to this day, she maintains that she was abused by me.

Or somehow they're conditioned to think it's THE way to do things. They weren't taught otherwise.
This is a great point. The belief that abuse is ok, or discipline, or the "right" way to do things is frequently generational. People who grow up in abusive homes or experience abuse at a developmental age are more likely to become abusers themselves later in life. it is what they know. When I tried to leave my ex she repeated the behavior of her father when she left his home. She panicked, trapped me in my own bedroom, and then tore her way into the bedroom to get to me. If the stories of her childhood were true this is also the same behavior her parents exhibited towards her when she attempted to flee their abuse. Hate breeds hate.

Having them beaten up by a stronger person might not fix things unless they're only doing it for lack of empathy or they didn't think of consequences.
It doesn't have to be a stronger person. I have twice been in a situation where I was being abused by a partner: One pulling my hair and hitting me, the other grabbing my arms and trying to pull my son from my arms. In both cases they called the police and said that I was the abuser. I had no power. No amount of strength in the world would save me at that point because, if I defended myself, I would have been the abuser in the eye of society. So I did the right thing and didn't raise my hand. Because of that, and that alone, I was cleared of all abuse allegations. The thought that my mental strength saved me has crossed my mind many, many times. My ex did not have empathy at the time. She was only concerned with stopping me from leaving her and taking our son. Nothing else in the world mattered to her at the time.


Or we can go the easy way and just train female victims to cut off balls, haha. Not sure what would be the equivalent for male counterparts.
Funny! There is a double edged sword here. Males who retaliate are looked at as abusers while females who retaliate are looked at as heroes, and strong. Society is not ready to accept female to male physical abuse. Hopefully the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case will bring this to light.
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
I should preface this by saying that since most of you have gotten to know me I've been accused of abuse by someone who abused me and neglected our son. It was very traumatic for us and, to this day, she maintains that she was abused by me.
Sorry to hear about that. I suppose it didn't help you that some people think only males could abuse females.

I think there was a case her where a man went to the police station and reported that he was a victim of abuse and they laughed at him. Men don't feel safe to report what they go through. They're expected to just...man it up.

Rules have changed since and I think those who don't take things seriously especially if you're supposed to be in a position of authority who can do something about it, face consequences.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Doc

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
There's plenty of cases of men trying to report physical or sexual abuse and being told to suck it up, that their claims aren't valid, that a female can't abuse or rape a man, etc etc etc. It's a horrible time to be a man in these types of situations as there are very few, if any protections for them under the law.
 
Top