Going "Dutch"

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by RJ-Cool, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. RJ-Cool

    RJ-Cool "Expect the unexpected"

    I think men for the most part might have a problem with this "dutch dating" Why? As men, I think we prefer to be in control of the dating situation; yeah...we prefer picking up the girl, opening the doors, paying for dinner etc. and, somehow going dutch takes a little bite off our male ego. Women, on the other hand (from my experience) don't seem to have a problem with it. I could be wrong so you tell me........

    Do you have a problem with going 'dutch'? Why?

    Have you ever gone 'dutch' in the past? How was it?

    If the situation arise, would you be interested in going 'dutch'?

  2. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    What does it mean to go "dutch"?
    Can you give further information?
  3. RJ-Cool

    RJ-Cool "Expect the unexpected"

    Thank you for asking Elly. To "go Dutch," also known as a "Dutch treat" or a "Dutch date," implies an informal agreement for each person to pay for his or her own expenses during a planned date or outing. The decision to "go Dutch" is usually made in advance in order to avoid any confusion when the bill arrives or the tickets are purchased. Under certain social and financial circumstances, the idea to "go Dutch" allows larger groups of friends or co-workers to enjoy a night on the town without the worry of one host footing the entire bill.
  4. wooly

    wooly I am the woolrus

    i've never heard that phrase before!

    I used to be the guy that paid paid for everything. Drinks, food, cinema, whatever it was! Though i used to work a WHOLE lot and have plenty of spare cash to spend. As for my current broke situation, i have absolutely NO problem with "going dutch"! :p

    I don't insist on paying for everything though. Some girls just don't like everything paid for them on a night out. I just like to be generous in general though. The same can be said in me buying drinks for my friends or whatever.

    Usually i don't even think about the paying of things on a date/night out. I have no problem paying for drinks and if she wants to pay for her own or buy me a drink back i have no problem with it!
  5. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I like paying for my half. It doesn't have to be 50/50. Sometimes my date would offer to pick the dinner tab and so that I won't insist, he'd say I can just buy him a drink after.

    Of course if the dude insists on paying for it all, I have no problem. I just like to offer my part for the sake of gesture, haha.
  6. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    Yeh same with me, pretty much. I do always like to buy someone a drink or something if they pay for me, though. My (girl) friends think it's kind of strange and unnecessary but it feels rude otherwise, to me.

    So yes, 'going dutch' (never heard of it either lol) suits me fine. I wouldn't feel it appropriate to strongly insist, though. Gotta keep those male egos intact. :lol:
  7. Sim

    Sim Registered Member

    Hm, in my environment (twens in Berlin), formal dates are more or less en vogue anymore anyway, so "going Dutch" is probably even the default. Even when he pays, it's often not a very formal thing. Unless it's a bit closer already than just a date where it's not established yet more will come out of it ... when it's closer already, inviting the woman is more common. At least that's my impression, no idea how representative that is.
  8. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    Thank You.

    Over here, going 'dutch' is normal and is seen as obvious.
    Men invite and they pay. Women don't invite that much as they see it as a mannish thing to do [especially when it's about dates].

    Personally, I'd like the guy to go 'dutch' at least on our first date. It'd be weird if I paid on the first date :lol:
    Then obviously, on the other dates we could go 50/50 or I could invite him and pay in any occasion just to let him know that I don't always expect him to pay lol.
  9. Impact

    Impact Registered Member V.I.P. Lifetime

    I really hate going on a date and the guy insists on paying. It's actually a great sign for me of where future dates will be heading. If he insists on paying, then there won't be a second date. Compromises, either letting me pay my half, or pay for the drinks or something, then he gets a check on the ol' mental check list.

    Oh, and I have heard of going dutch before.
  10. Hypnoticmeg

    Hypnoticmeg Registered Member

    I like when a guy pays for the date because it shows a certain level of caring and wanting to impress you....That said once I'm dating someone exclusively for a while I do offer to pay for some things also.

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