Movies Godzilla Vs King Kong

Altanzitarron

Tamer Of The LOLzilla
#1
As I mentioned in a previous thread, Ive been ill the last few days which has stopped me from sleeping properly. In this time of awakeness I have been forced to watch some interesting things. The best however has easily been this classic of craziness, Godzilla vs King Kong. Since I doubt many of you will want to watch this I've found some screen shots on a blog that I can use to show you some of the best bits.

This thread will contain spoilers of a sort from here on so if you'd rather enjoy the magic yourself, leave now!

























Well basically Godzilla has thawed out from his icy prison and has returned to take his vengeance. Aint he cute? he shakes his fist in fury.




King Kong is just pottering about on his island, unaware of the rubber suit battle that awaits.



Infact, he's so unaware that he decides to get loaded on some Soma.



Face it, if you lived on an island inhabbited by a crazy ass giant ape you'd let your kids smoke too. I can't imagine the life expectancy is that great anyway. Perhaps Cancer is the real monster here? Food for thought.

Well anyway for reasons I cannot explain because I wasn't fully paying attention at this point, the two mighty beasts begin to fight.



Godzilla does what he does best and blasts the hairy ape with fire... rather tactfully in the crotch.



Now you've got to hand it to this guy, he knows when to walk away from a fight. His balls are burnt and he goes off to do what any man would do in this situation........ thats right! Make sure his junk is still working. "Typical man" comments are welcomed.

Think I'm joking?



Nope this guy is all about the pussy.... and for the sake of size relativity... doll pussy at that.

The army aren't happy with this because while Kongs off getting his freak on, Godzilla is detroying little toy buildings. So they decide that they need to get King Kong over to the giant lizard and get them scrapping again. I never approve of using a monster to fight another monster because basically your always going to have one monster left and then what do you use to kill that? The army don't seem too bothered about this inevitability and decide that they're going to get him to Godzilla by any means possible.

How do you think they did this? It's a pretty tall order to move something that big so what could they use? The answer is so hilariously shocking that I've spoiler tagged this image just so that you can all get the full effect.

So what is the answer to the million dollar question? How do you move a giant ape so that he can continue to fight an evil radioactive lizard? The answer is;
FUCKING BALLOONS!

I choose not to analyse the misteps in logic here and just accept it for it's hilarity value.



He seems to be enjoying it anyway...



So anyway it all hits the fan and it looks like Godzilla is going to win the day.

However just when it seems like the fight is over King Kong gets struck by lightening. I know that should surely hinder him right? it also happens twice in the same place :rolleyes: However as the commentators point out in a very matter of fact way - "Electricity makes him stronger". OFCOURSE! wait what? I know, this shit = bananna's. Theres nothing I can say that will make it make sense so just play along.

The new and improved Kong now acts like a spokes person for energizer batteries and takes care of Tall, green and scaley.



What better a way to show off your new srength by making Godzilla suck on your tree... *ahem*. Maybe it's meant to assert man's dominance over lizards with some seriously phallic imagery.

They both end up falling in the ocean but only Kong can be seen swimming away so presumably he wins.



I know, I know... Godzilla swims all the time so why does the ocean beat him and not Kong? If that's your only logical grievance with this film I envy you.

As Kong swims away the tv announcer says that he "wishes him luck" on his journey home. :lol:

Anyway I hope you all enjoyed my narration of a truley great movie.
 
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#2
lol at:

the balloons

I loved the way you narrated through it. I laughed at every screenshot. :rofl:

By the way, if this ever did happen Godzilla would own King Kong.
 

Nightsurfer

~Lucky 13 strikes again~
#3
Hey I first saw that when I was a kid. It's a classic! I am missing that one in my collection as well as a few more.

Thanks for the happy flashback :thumbsup:
 

Altanzitarron

Tamer Of The LOLzilla
#5
I can't take all the credit, I found all the screen shots between 2 blogs which both had their own narration. So I kind of stole the idea but all the captions are my own.
 

Hiei

The Hierophant
#6
Kong looks fucking stoned.


Also, Godzilla would tear the shit out of Kong. Just think about it. A radioactive, thirty story tall, fire breathing, reptile from the pits of hell vs. a naturally grown, giant monkey. That likes to play with dolls. Oh, and if that doesn't break it, Godzilla also has it's own Power Rangers baby.
 

Altanzitarron

Tamer Of The LOLzilla
#7
Yeah, the fact that he didn't win really bugged me. It's not as if it was even a fare win wither, King Kong magically gets electrified? I'm sorry but since when has electrocuting a giant ape ever made it super strong and not just fried it's brains out?