I am having a really difficult summer. I live in the suburbs, in a hot house, which can't get central air nor cable internet. I don't have a car, for I totaled it in an accident thanksgiving day, with an old friend. We were both in recently bought cars. If I were in my jeep, I would be dead. The jeep which prior to the jetta, the radiator blew out, had been the shop, we would of got it fixed, but there was confusion with the insurance or something, and whatever the reason, we ended up buying a new car, instead of getting it fixed. Fortunately, I'm here, which considering my many close calls, at such an early age, I think I'm meant to be. Everytime I'm down, I turn to God. I am more dependent on God, than I am on weed or adderall, which I am also addicted to... It is just weird, how right before I completely fall apart, in some way or another God picks me back up. I don't know if its my belief, or maybe my environment, which makes him overlook my generally curmudgeon attitude... but I always notice the signs, that he, whether it be the omnipresense of God, or my gaurdian angel, which I have reason to believe is my grandfather, who died when I was one, is there, looking over me, making sure I don't give up... I will reach the top, I have no doubt in my mind.