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Girlfriends mom found out she's sexually active.

Esolejo

New Member
To start with I'm twenty years old and have been going out with my girlfriend for six months.

We have always used contraception (condoms) and it seems the last time we did we absent mindly left a wrapper (not the condom) on her basement floor where her mom's roommate stumbled upon it. Now it happened to be in the roommates room because her space is the basement, and I'll admit we kind of did it in her bed. It was all fun a good time then but now we see the consequences. Also normally we aren't so forgetful about the wrappers we try to play it safe, but that day we had to leave fast and get downtown for some appointment.

Its bad enough that we did it in the roommates space I know but its also bad because her mom had no idea we were doing it. Shes nineteen and has been active since 16 or 17 but not with me, only one previous bf. It also doesn't help that her family is a very strict Vietnamese/Cambodian family.

Finding this out I'm now pretty much scared to go over there again because of what her mom might say and that its disrespectful to the roommates that we did it there and its pretty shameful.

What did you people do when your parents found out for the first time?

Also advice for what she should say when her mom confronts her?
 

leomay

Registered Member
the boy will be beated..if mom found he done this with her girl..and the girl will be punished too....it what our parents do if this happen as my age ...but i know little about waht moms will do as u age
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
What did you people do when your parents found out for the first time?

Her mother was cool about it because she's a realist and she trusts her daughter, so she expected it eventually and knew she'd handle it well and we did. I never flat out told my mom or dad but I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years now and I know they're not stupid, so I'd suspect they know :lol:

They haven't said anything or given me any lectures so I'm assuming they have faith in me.

Also advice for what she should say when her mom confronts her?
Stand up and face the consequences. If you knew it was a shameful act and did it anyways, then you should both be ready to own up for what you did but also be honest. Don't lie, that's the worst thing you can do after somebody finds damning evidence. Support her, stand beside her.
 

renniegade

Registered Member
i never had a problem with my parents finding out about my sexual experiencies they are open minded just glad i was using protection.The best thing for your gf is just to be honest with her mother,just explain you are both old enough and use protection so ideally there should not be an issue
 

Arcadoc

Registered Member
Having associated with Vietnamese families in the past, I can tell you that they are a very "honor" and "family" oriented people. Your disrespect of their daughter, and their family as a whole, will certainly have it's consequences. But how you approach their newfound knowledge of the situation will be of utmost importance in your future relationship with her, and them.
That said, you can't change what has already happened. Now you have only two choices. You can be a man about it and stand up to whatever consequences await you, or be a coward by running away, hiding and denying your involvement.
Standing up means facing them and speaking with them as an adult. Don't deny your involvement or make light of it. They'll understand more than you think about their daughter's sexual activity, especially at 19 years of age.
That won't mitigate your disrespect of their home and family, but it will go a long way in establishing a future place for you in their family.
If you choose the cowardly route, you will show them not only that you disrespect their family, but you have no self-respect of your own. Oriental families absolutely hate cowardice. Showing such a trait will undoubtedly earn their hatred, and could result in your banishment from their household for a very long time. They will never allow their daughter to even speak with a coward, much less keep company with one.
My advice: Be a man. Show them the respect they deserve, and accept responsibility for your actions.
 

micfranklin

Eviscerator
My parents just give me the "use a condom 'cause we're not taking care of kids" talk anytime it's even suspected.
 

jebby

New Member
That sucks, but really you should expect the consequences if you do it in your roomates bed. What's wrong with your own bed? lol.
Just talk to her parents. Be sincere and tell them you know you made a mistake and it wont happen again. Tell them you use contraception and they have nothing to worry about.
 

Esolejo

New Member
Thanks for the advice everyone, so far she has been confronted by her mom and asked about the situation, the mom turned out to be a bit of a realist and accepting but shes still kind of disappointed with the whole roommate move and was interested in knowing how long shes been active.

When asked about how long shes been active she lied and said it was one of the first times, which kind of makes me feel weird because I don't want to feel like the guy who also took her virginity and her "innocence" but whatever, right now I'm standing behind her 100% and will soon have a talk with her mom and apologize for the whole mess, I guess this goes down as a good life lesson but still its definitely made me search for more consequences before acting on things.


Also the last thing I would want is to be ashamed every time I see her family because I really do enjoy her family a lot and the worst thing I could do would be to be a coward and not correct my wrong doing.
 
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