Girlfriend's Male Friends

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by RTWmaniac, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. RTWmaniac

    RTWmaniac Registered Member

    I've been dating a girl for a few months now and things are great for the most part. However, we've had some issues recently with a couple of her male friends.

    First, she has a friend from college. She said they've never dated but they "used to hang out." She mentioned she was going to hang out with him (not the way they used to hang out) and I asked why she didn't invite me along. She said that he's really weird about meeting any boyfriend she might have, so he wouldn't want to hang out if I was there. I told her how absurd this was, she agreed, and she said she wasn't going to hang out with him anymore.

    Almost immediately afterwards, she had a group of her girlfriends visit her from college. They met this guy who seemed pretty interested in one of her friends. But her friend lives like 6 hours away from us. This situation has gradually turned into this guy hanging out with my girlfriend while her friend isn't around. Now, she was sensitive to how I felt about this, and she stated this new guy wants to meet me (he hasn't yet though). Because of this, it didn't really bother me at first. But over the last week or so, it has started to bother me. She likes the idea of being friends with this guy because they share a few interests that I don't. And most of her friends live far away, so she wants to hang out with people outside my group of friends. This is all totally understandable to me.

    My girlfriend is a really sincere, trustworthy girl, and she has a lot of integrity. She's given me no reason not to trust her. Do you think I have the right to be bothered? What would you do?
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2009

  2. Jeru

    Jeru Registered Member

    Let off said it yourself, she is sincere and trustworthy and has given you no reason not to trust her.
  3. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    haha ...that's strange.
    just because she hasn't given you a reason not to doubt in her, doesn't mean you can't doubt...and doesn't mean there's not actually a reason to doubt.

    what makes me doubt is the fact that she's insisting to be around this guy. just because he's weird about her boyfriends doesn't mean you have to stay out of this. so she's wrong in this.
    if she wants to hang out with people outside your group of friends, she can hang out with you and this guy but i'm afraid she's not going straight on topic...and maybe she's not being that honest with you.

    i don't know her and i don't know you but from what your saying, a superficial answer would be :
    stand in a doubt of her.

    i would be bothered, if i were you.
  4. justwondering

    justwondering Registered Member

    i think its normal for it to bother u, and there is nothing wrong with having friends of the "other" sex but if ur gf doesnt want u around when she is hanging out with them thats red flag...just keep ur eyes open
  5. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    I can see why it would bother you, but you have also said that she is a trustworthy person. Also, if there were something going on, I doubt she'd be telling you about this guy.
  6. Tucker

    Tucker Lion Rampant

    She wants you for her boyfriend, not them. What reason is there for you to lower yourself in her eyes by acting like you're not confident that you have more to offer?
  7. Mihael_langley

    Mihael_langley Formerly "Maikeru"

    You should find comfort in knowing there isn't much you can do. Its not like you can stop her. Even if this sudden relationship between your GF and this guy may turn into something else its ultimately her decision.

    I like girls who set boundaries with male friends, not giving them to much confidence, i do the same with female friends, that helps in a relationship, but its not up to me to control her.
  8. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Good. Because that is really weird. I have several close male friends. But when it comes to my relationship, none of them will ever and can ever impose something like that. I think it's important for opposite sex friends to foremost respect the b/Gf of their friends, which starts with acknowledging them.

    I wouldn't worry about it. I can understand why she'd want to hang out with someone outside of your own group of friends esp if that person share some of her interests (that the two of you don't). And you said so, she's trustworthy. If any red flag I had for the first quotet of this post, it was mostly about the friend, not your gf. Good luck.

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