Movies GF Movie Review Club 2.0 - Week 4

[Impact]

Sorry for the slacking. Although, from the lack of reviews in the last one, it looks like everyone else was slacking too.

..::The following picks were bought to you by the mind of Smelnick::..

Matchstick Men (2003)

Matchstick Men Trailer - YouTube

A phobic con artist and his protégé are on the verge of pulling off a lucrative swindle when the former's teenage daughter arrives unexpectedly. Directed by Ridley Scott. Starring Nicholas Cage.

Face/Off (1997)

Face Off Trailer 1997 - YouTube

A revolutionary medical technique allows an undercover agent to take the physical appearance of a major criminal and infiltrate his organization. Directed by John Woo. Starring Nicholas Cage, John Travolta.

Get voting. I'll probably leave the voting open a little longer than usual. And i'll send a PM round to our less active members too.

 

[sunrise]

I am very much guilty of slacking as we have discuss imp. I can't download anything right now so will try to get my review of Shallow Grave in soon. My vote for this week is Matchstick Men as I find Face/Off to be hateful!

 

[Bliss]

Sorry, Lauren. I'll get my review up for Shallow Grave in the next few days.

I am voting for Matchstick Men because I haven't seen it.

 

[Impact]

I've been just as slack. I haven't seen either of those movies. I voted for Face/Off as being the oldest I probably should have watched it by now. Either way, I can stream them both so don't have to worry about downloads.

 

[Crouton]

I'm in a similar boat to ginock. I haven't been about to download anything for a long time. Having a tiny download limit sucks and I'm not allowed to download full movies most of the time. I usually only get to download a tv episode here and there. I will try to get one of these, but at this stage I really can't promise anything unfortunately.

 

[Bubbles]

I apologize for my slacking. I've had the means to watch them, but I kept getting side-tracked. Anyways, I voted for FACE/Off but I won't be able to submit my review tonight because I'm going out in a few minutes. So, I'll get it in sometime tomorrow evening.

Also, Crouton, why don't you just watch the movie online as opposed to, you know, downloading every single one?

 

[Impact]

Streaming videos eats a large amount of broadband limit bubz. Definitely not the same amount as downloading, but still a fair amount.

Looks like Face/Off is winning for the time being.

 

[Crouton]

Yeah streaming vids still uses a lot of download. And I hate doing it, it's hard to find a place to stream full length movies and they are usually really slow to load and have to keep buffering all the time.

 

[Bubbles]

Oh really? I wasn’t aware of the fact that streaming videos affected broadband limit. You learn something new everyday.

Alright, I just wrapped up watching FACE/Off. This is possibly one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It’s so laughable, that for a second, I thought it was a comedy.

Spoiler

First off, it’s a tried and true notion that if you put Nicolas Cage in your film, you're bound to FAIL. That guy’s a bad juju. He can’t act, he sucks the life outta every movie he’s in and he’s nothing to look at; how he keeps getting work in Hollywood is beyond me.

So anyways, FACE/Off is your run of the mill revenge/action flick which centers around FBI Agent Sean Archer’s (Travolta) hunt for his son’s killer, international terrorist, Castor Troy (Cage). When he finally apprehends Troy, he learns that Troy and his brother, Pollux (what the fuck kinda name is Pollux, anyways?) have set a bomb to go off in 236 hours which will destroy the city of LA and all who inhabit it. So, up to this point, everything’s pretty believable, right?

Now comes the FACE-swapping fiasco. The FBI decide to tear a comatose Castor’s FACE off, do a shitload of plastic surgery, and lo and behold, Sean Archer is Castor Troy and his own FACE is perserved, and saved for replacing after his mission is over. Obviously Archer’s FACE would be locked up in a safe place and out of harm’s way, right? Wrong! Instead it’s floating in an illumniated jar in a room right next to a dreaded terrorist. At this point, I was laughing so hard, I was in tears. But, it gets better... Castor takes Sean’s FACE and assumes his life, and at one point even bangs his wife. What... the... fuck! Are you trying to tell me that Eve Archer really couldn’t tell the difference between her husband’s penis and that of a stranger? So, what if they had the same FACE, couldn’t she tell the differance between bone structure, skin texture, scars etc? What makes it even more bizarre is that she’s a DOCTOR! And the final laugh came when Archer comes home with his replacement son... who seemed to have gotten over the death of both his parents pretty quickly.

If you take out the ludicrous script and dialouge, all you’re really left with is thousands of flying bullets, big explosions and a mountain of dead cops. To sum it all up, FACE/Off is a movie that stays with you, but not in a good way. It’s like that one time when I accidentally left some cheese in the back of my Camaro on a hot, sunny afternoon and stunk up my whole car... well, FACE/Off is a lot like that – It’s regretful, unpleasant, pungent and unnecessary.

Weak... I’m giving this movie a 1 outta 10, but that’s only because 0 isn’t an option. It’s the biggest pile of Pollux I’ve ever seen.

 

[Konshentz]

Two Cage movies?

:suicide:


I'll get on this and the previous 3 weeks soon. Talk about slacking. Haha.