Friendship after Relationship

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by EllyDicious, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    What's the point of being friends with an ex?

    Do you have any ex who's your friend now?

    IF yes, how are things going?

    When you meet him/her how do you feel? (despite the fact that it's been a long time since you were together).

    Is it selfish not to accept friendship after relationship is over?

    Do you think you can be with him/her again?
    Sim likes this.

  2. Mihael_langley

    Mihael_langley Formerly "Maikeru"

    Answers in bold ^^

  3. Sim

    Sim Registered Member

    Well, I assume he or she is a pretty cool, lovable person, which should have ideally been the reason why you once were in a relationship with him/her. So it's nice to have a good friend who is lovable, isn't it?

    I'd say one and a half.

    My first former girlfriend still is one of my best buddies. We meet maybe once per week and chat or watch tv, go out together or have parties together.

    Another ex of mine also still is kind of a friend, but she doesn't live in the same city anymore, so we don't meet often and don't have much contact. But when she is in town, maybe once per year, we meet and chat about what's happened to our lives.

    There is another one I don't have contact with anymore, but that's not because we broke up in a fight, but because she had to leave the city and cut off all contacts.

    Pretty well.

    For my first ex-gf who still is a close friend of mine, I have no awkward or inappropriate feelings at all when we meet. But it's been 10 years or so since we were a couple (for 1.5 years or so), so we have had enough time to get over it. During the first 1 or 2 years after our break up, I sometimes felt awkward when she was around, but that vanished soon, especially when I was in a new relationship.

    The same for my 2nd ex, who I still meet once per year or so. It took me 2 years, maybe, to get over her, but ever since then, it's fine. It's been 5 years since we broke up.

    Not necessarily. You may have been hurt very much by him/her in your relationship, and sometimes you simply cannot deal with seeing him/her for a while. That's not necessarily selfish, but can be important for you to deal with loss and/or hurt feelings.

    That said, I admire it when people are bold enough to forgive. And it's even nicer, of course, if there are no hurt feelings in the first place that need to be forgiven.

    Nope. First, I broke up with my first girlfriend after she came out as transsexual and now is a guy. And since I am not into guys -- no offense -- I didn't want to be in a relationship with him any longer. He is a great male buddy now, and he is happily married to his boyfriend, so neither do I want, nor do I think I would have a chance of being with him again.

    After the break-up from my second girlfriend, who hurt me quite a lot when we were together, I probably would have wished to get together with her again for maybe 1 year ... but in the end, I realized she really is not the right person for me and it wouldn't do me any good, despite really considering her a great person. Been there, done that -- would never want to do it again. But I'm glad we're still friends. She is the kind of person who can be a great friend, but she is a horrible girlfriend.

    Apart from that, I am in a very happy, joyful relationship for 3 months now, which seems much better to me than any relationship I had before, so I don't feel any need to think about getting back together with one of my ex's.
  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime


    Maybe because you like one another? :lol:

    It's not like just because they're not putting out anymore that you shouldn't be friends (unless of course there was a bitter break up).

    Yeah, one is from college so I don't see her anymore and the other just broke up with me a few days ago.

    Much better than a few days again. The pain is most definitely there but I think we're handling it maturely.

    It hasn't been a long time though.

    With my first ex, there's no feelings anymore, although I'd imagine that's because our relationship did not go very far. This most recent one is very hard, we dated for 2 1/2 years and were very, very close.

    No, I think sometimes it just hurts too much. Perhaps time just needs to pass but sometimes you just can't do friendship. Then of course, if you had a bad break such as one person cheating, why is it wrong to deny friendship?

    First ex, no.

    Second ex, we're giving each other time and space and we're not 100% sure where we're going but at the moment, we are broken up.
    Sim likes this.
  5. justwondering

    justwondering Registered Member

    i dont think you can be friends with an ex..unless u have kids together then u have to be for the kids...
  6. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?, no you don't "have" to be friends with your ex whether kids are involved or not. Naturally, it would make for an ideal situation, but the simple fact is, most times this isn't how it works out.
  7. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    I could potentially be friends with most all of my exes except for the very last one. The last one ended bitterly. My previous one before that...I could be friends with him, but I think he needed to be away from me to get over me, and now it's just awkward.

    My other 2 exes I have lost touch with and it has been a long time since I've see them. I have no idea where they are or what they're doing right now.

    So actually, I'm not friends with any of them.
  8. justwondering

    justwondering Registered Member

    ur are right it dosen't happen that way for the most part but i think thats the only time it should...
  9. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    You think that kids are better off growing up in an environment with two arguing parents rather than switching between two households where the parents are separate, but happier?
  10. justwondering

    justwondering Registered Member

    You think that kids are better off growing up in an environment with two arguing parents rather than switching between two households where the parents are separate, but happier? i dont think its good for the kids to see the parents arguing...and i dont think its good just for the kids to bounce back and forth between the 2 house...i think the kids need to see that even tho mommy and daddy arent together they can still talk when it comes to the kids and be at events and not have to be fighting.

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