Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by ysabel, Dec 14, 2009.

  1. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    What makes an action, flirting? How do you differentiate it from thinking someone is just being nice or friendly?

    Has it happened to you to be naturally friendly and misconstrued as flirting? Or have you misjudged another?

    Does the labeling depend on the intentions of the person doing the act? For exmaple, if it's not his intention to flirt (or not even aware) then it's not flirting.

    How much does the perception of the receiver or those that can observe the act, weigh in making a call that there's flirtation going on? Say, someone said it's not his intention to flirt (and he's telling the truth) but to everyone else it's obvious he is flirting. Does that make his actions, flirtation?

  2. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    what makes the action?

    I have no idea.... I get yelled at for flirting all the time and I dont ever know why. I try to be nice to people, if they say how are you I say it back. I dont really see that as flirting but I guess it is :hah:

    Because of the accusations that are always against me... I say and I seriously mean it, that flirting has to be intentional. If I'm just being nice then I'm not flirting... there has to be a such thing as a friendly person. Because otherwise all taken men must be dicks to all females under the no-flirting clause :hah:
  3. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Good questions. I'm not really sure.

    I don't think it should count as flirting unless the person doing it means it to be (a possible exception being if the person doing it doesn't realize he or she is doing it). If a person does something deliberately, but without the intention of flirting, then it's not flirting. But it might be possible to flirt without realizing you're doing so, if you didn't even realize you were doing those actions.

    One thing that's always bugged me is when people see little kids annoying each other, and they say it's flirting. Sure, sometimes it could be, but in my experience, more often than not, they're more likely to be slightly mean-spirited, rather than flirting.
  4. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    Difficult.. I'd say it's being playful but with seductive undertones. Being just nice/friendly doesn't have the second part.

    Not that I'm aware of.

    It depends if flirting is solely an action or if it always has to have intention behind it for it to be considered so. I'm not sure, to be honest.
  5. SuiGeneris

    SuiGeneris blue 3

    There are obvious cases of flirting and then there is innocent flirting in my mind. I mean it's pretty easy to see the first case, for instance a girl standing real close to a guy, playing coy, giggling, tossing her hair around ...yada yada yada.

    I am known as a natural flirt. I get called out for flirting ALL the time, basically every day, and most of the time it is just me having a good time and being nice. However, sometimes, it can lead to real flirting.

    There are a few times I thought someone was flirting that wasn't or visa versa. But I think everyone can see that. Flirting is so ambiguous because it involves the pre-conception that the person likes you/is interested in you and how they express it.

    I think it's a little of both. For the most part, I think that the intentions define the act, if I start joking with a girl, and making it obvious that I plan on dating her, having sex or what not then it's flirting.

    There are times when people flirt without "meaning too" while there are obvious feelings involved. Even though their intention is to just be nice to a person, that doesn't mean they arn't expressing a feeling they have.

    Well look at me. If I say something flirtacious, nine times out of ten people are just going to assume I'm being nice (especially once they get to know me), however someone who doesn't often flirt or be flirtacious would be immediately called out on it.
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    What if being seductive is part of the play? :lol:


    I'm almost (haha) like Sui. Some of my actions are so friendly they're often misconstrued as flirting. Unintentional flirt? I only say it isn't because I'm aware of my intentions. However I think if someone says you're flirting, even if you're not, and you continue to do the behavior, then it becomes flirting? What about being with other people who feel everyone likes them and are flirting with them?
  7. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    I will say what is going through every males' head right now:

    "Single women suck at communicating the difference between flirting and being friendly."

    I can't tell you how many times my friends (and myself) have had problems with discerning whether a girl is flirting or being friendly. I would like to say years of experience would make me wiser. If anything I think it has gotten more difficult. It is more subtle, less clumsy, and less obvious.

    But you know what is the worst? The worst is if you have to confront the girl to figure her out. After perhaps an awkward conversation the girl will express her true intentions. She isn't flirting she was just 'being friendly'. One would think that would be the end and both individuals can move on with their lives. But that isn't the case with most women. They will just continue their behavior with no change and expect you to understand.

    Thanks women, you suck.
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  8. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    I actually just assume they're "just being friendly" up until they start making it more obvious (part of it may have to do with my low self-esteem in that area :shrug:).
  9. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    i think about this difference too. i mean ..Albanian males are not gentlemen. when you see a male acting nice, you'll think he's flirting when he's actually just being nice and gentleman.
    though ... there are cases when your may not be aware of the fact that he's flirting, when he's actually flirting ..
    i think it depends on the situation and on the type of man/woman you're talking to. it's a case by case situation.
  10. Shooting_Palanx

    Shooting_Palanx The Rock is cooking atm..

    I usually get called out for flirting when I give compliments...

    Like "nice hair" or "wow you look really good today".

    Flirting will always be misconstrued however many ways you look at it lol.

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