Flirting with Disaster!

RJ-Cool

"Expect the unexpected"
#1
Okay!Okay! I admit it.........I flirt! Now before you presume to cast judgement....Do you flirt?
Here's my story:
I was involved in a relationship but had this co-worker ( let's call her Jane for easy reference) with whom I flirted constantly. At first it was all innocent with a few jokes here and there, certain gestures.........but, overtime the chemistry between us intensified. I'm talking about the kind of intensity that permeates your mind and causes you to think about someone else when you're with your special someone. Anywhoo, Jane called my house late one night (very late) and guess who answered the phone?......... Tada!...... My girl!
"Sh*t!.. Sh*t!..Sh*t!" I thought.
I was a bit indisposed at the time but heard the phone, kinda figured it was Jane but I hoped she would at least hang up. Damn!...Damn!...Damn! Jane in her infinite wisdom decided to leave a message and the 'sh*t' not only hit the fan, it knocked it over! To this day I don't know what the message was.....the only message I got came in the form of my phone being hurled at my head accompanied by a barrage of 'angry comments'.
'Cut long story short', I tried to salvage the relationship with a couple of choice words and ample maneuver but to no avail. The 'fat lady' didn't just sing, she was was hollering! It was over! I flirted with disaster; the disaster being the possible disruption/destruction of my relationship and paid the cost. People always say " a little flirting won't hurt" but hey! if blown out of proportion it can. What do you think?
Do you think flirting should be tolerated/allowed in a relationship or should it be prohibited?
 
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idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#2
I think that is the problem with flirting. It can easily get blown out of proportion. Especially in the case you described where it is flirting with a person that is close enough for something more to come of that flirting, if that makes sense.

For instance, if I am single and I flirt with guys on the internet, could harm come from that? I doubt it. I have flirted with a guy from work before and our situation ended very much the same as yours, except he was the one with the gf and I never called him, he told her about me in a drunken stooper which resulted in her calling me and cursing me to no end.

So my verdict is:
Both parties single = flirt away, no harm done.
Internet flirting = if done in a controlled manner, sure, why not!
Either of the two parties in a relationship = probably a bad idea and should be avoided at all costs!

Hope you learned your lesson there RJ?
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
#5
Yes I flirt. I know some of my friends who are naturally flirt and we exchange flirtations, haha. It can be challenging, it's a skill. Just know your boundaries, when to stop. Also if the other person is getting far too involved than what you've been willing to bargain for, then stop. I don't know how to call this flirting..idle flirt? It's when you flirt but have no intention for anything to go elsewhere, no date, no relationship. And my partner even encourages it if I can get free drinks in the bar for us. LOL.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#6
And my partner even encourages it if I can get free drinks in the bar for us. LOL.
I like your style ysabel! :D

I completely agree with everything ysabel said as well. There can be such a thing as "innocent" flirting where there are no intentions to follow.

And as for flirting for free drinks - is that wrong? I used to do that in the UK all the time. Flirt shamelessly till I get a drink and some for my friends and then walk away with the drinks. Is there a rule that says if a guy buys you a drink you need to at least stick around while you finish that drink? Cause if there is I will be ordering shooters on guys bills only from now on!!! :lol:
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#7
I don't think there is any harm in flirting. It's when it turns into come-ons and hitting on someone that it becomes a problem...if you're in a relationship, that is.
 
#8
And as for flirting for free drinks - is that wrong? I used to do that in the UK all the time. Flirt shamelessly till I get a drink and some for my friends and then walk away with the drinks. Is there a rule that says if a guy buys you a drink you need to at least stick around while you finish that drink? Cause if there is I will be ordering shooters on guys bills only from now on!!!
Hahaha. Me and my friend did that and I felt pretty bad about it, until she actually went back and gave the poor guy her number so at least he got something out of it. :lol: I can't remember if he even called but yeah.

Anyway, I think flirting if you have a partner is, uhh, not so good. I can't help but wonder why there would be the need to, if you were happy in a relationship. I mean don't get me wrong, a little innocent fun is usually fine. But anything more, or suggestive, can be considered crossing boundaries.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#9
Hahaha. Me and my friend did that and I felt pretty bad about it, until she actually went back and gave the poor guy her number so at least he got something out of it. :lol: I can't remember if he even called but yeah.
See, all girls do it. I think men are catching up on this though. But imo, if a guy is going to be ignorant enough to think one drink would get me into bed, he deserves to be "scammed" (I mean, it would have to be at least 2 drinks... j/k).

I say flirting in such situations, ie at clubs, pubs, etc, is harmless and fun as long as no one gets hurt!:shifteyes:
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#10
I don't think flirting is a big deal, tbh; unless of course you allow it to get out of hand and most of the time when something does go "wrong" somewhere deepdown you wanted it to anyway, whether you're in a relationship or not.

It all boils down to self control and your ability to keep it innocent. That's the way I see it.