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Few Questions & Answers about Lawyers

Shrek

Registered Member
Q.) Why won't a shark attack a lawyer?
A.) Professional courtesy.

Q.) How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A.) His lips are moving.

Q.) How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A.) She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

Q.) How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.) How many can you afford?

Q.) What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A.) Skeet.

Q.) What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A.) Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Q.) Why does California have the most lawyers in the country and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
A.) New Jersey got first choice.

Q.) What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A.) One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

Q.) What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
A.) God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q.) What's the differnce between a lawyer and an onion?
A.) Nobody cries when they chop up a lawyer

Q.) How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A.) Depends on how thin you slice them.

Q.) Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
A.) Because deep down, they are really good guys.

Q.)If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, ...... would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Source: GigglePedia
 
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