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Feelings for a deceased person


New Member
So i got feelings for a friend in 1999, she was the first female i liked being gay i was year 12 she was year 11, she never knew i have feelings, 4 weeks to the day before my 18 on october 6th 2000 she committed suicide i was devastated. I ended up burying my feelings i locked them away, around a yearish later i was told she was the love of my life, i was gobsmacked. Fast forward to now 18 years and my feelings have resurfaced and i have no clue how to deal with them, it's hard enough dealing with feelings for someone who is alive little own someone who is deceased. I have had these feelings for 19 years


Free Spirit
Staff member
I'm no expert but it sounds like to me you need to talk to a therapist that specializes in grief. Either one on one or in a group. By what you said I don't think you allowed yourself enough time to grieve for her after her death. I know you still care for her but you need to put it into perspective for your own sake, you have a life to live. I think talking to someone with expertise in grief would help you with that.


f a therapist
think about her as if shes living somewhere else and your mind can comm with her directly and she can see u/read the input/output of your earth vessel so if you wave at her she can either see it or knows ur waving


Talking with a therapist isn't a bad idea. My guess is that your heart is seeking to fill a void left by a prolonged absence of a someone special in your life and is reaching into the distant past to do it. If this is the case, get out and socialize more. Start dating. See about finding someone who will make you feel how you did back then.
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just know that ur feelings arent for their sake but for urs; YOU want them to be around, but trust me they dont wanna be around. They are in a place with more possibilities and less bullshit.