Feelings about Parenthood

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Boredie, Mar 8, 2009.

  1. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    As I was growing up, I knew I'd get married and have kids.
    Yet while I was single I couldn't relate to children nor really liked having them around. I had no idea how I was going to manage with my own in the future, I suppose I just never dwelled on it.

    Now after 3 years of marriage + 2 offspring, I know I love being a parent and enjoy parenting with all the ups and downs.

    How about you?
    ysabel likes this.

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I know I'll get married but I'm not sure about the kids part. I don't think about having kids in my future right now but maybe I'll change my mind when I get a bit older.
    I always thought I'd know by now if I wanted to have children but my answer has always been no.
  3. wolfheart

    wolfheart Registered Member

    I did not want kids till I was at least 28,I enjoyed life with no little ones to think of,I had seen friends who kids at a young age and were always looking for baby sitters at the weekends so they could go out.

    I did not want that,I wanted to have my fun then when the kids come along settle into being the best dad I could be,and only go out every so often.

    I met my ex at 27,she already had a little girl and I loved the role of being a father to her.
    Then on the day before my 28 birthday she told me she was pregnant,we now have three little ones,the relationship finished which is sad but we are best friends and I still live with her and the kids.
    Jeanie likes this.
  4. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    My feelings about parenthood are up and down. The background I come from is very family-orientated and it's almost like, it goes without saying that you'll have your own children one day. My mum laughs at me when I throw it out there that I'm not planning on having them. :shifteyes:
    But I see parents with their kids and I don't think 'awwww' I think 'ugh I don't want that!' I know I'd love them unconditionally if I did have them, but I'm really starting to think it's not for me. I do change my mind quite a lot though.
  5. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    I love having kids around me when I am in a good mood, despite that they talk to match and wail about well pretty much everything. I've got to admit that I am scared at this stage of ever having kids, jesus how am I meant to cope with all that? Especially with it being a baby, then taking responsibility when it's a teen.
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Same here. It was like there's not even a question that it would be otherwise. :lol:

    My sister was the one who always worked with kids. Even my younger cousins adored her and she made a temporary "School for kids" every weekend, teaching stuff to our cousins (they were 9-15 years younger than we are).

    Nobody saw me as motherly. In fact I'm probably the one my cousins would vote as least likely to settle down. :rotfl: And while I said in the first quote above that I knew I'd get married and have kids some day, I just assumed that I'll have fulltime nannies to help me raise them the way my grandparents and my mom (for a few years) did.

    After almost 8 years of marriage (next month) and 3 kids, I have long made my family faint with my accomplishment. Not only I'm the only cousin who has kids and married the longest, I actually had to raise them all by myself (no nannies) and they're fine. I know more about children than any of them and I appear the most motherly too.

    Like you Boredie, I love being a parent. I even keep a mommy diary. True it has its ups and downs. But even during the times that one of my kids would drive me crazy and I need a break and am happy when my kid finally takes a nap, if it were a break longer than that I miss her already. Jeanie and I were talking about this yesterday.

    I do get lost in the whole parenting role that sometimes I can no longer recognise where the "simply me" is. When we went on vacation last Christmas to see the family, my mom hired fulltime nannies for my two girls. So they were always there and so many times in the day, I felt so useless. It means, when I'm not doing mommy chores, I don't know what else to do. :shifteyes: That's why I think it's important to still have that part of us not fully dependent on our parenting role and nourish that too. It will help us not cling too much to our kids, just because they give us the sense of living. I don't go out often anymore because I always keep worrying who'll be there to look after my kids and what if they need me. So this year, I'm giving myself a gift and I'm going to the US in August for a 9 day vacation just by myself, for some "me time". My husband agreed to it and think it's a good idea to pamper myself.
  7. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    I was married during the ages that most people start a family; my sister had two kids while I was married. I assumed my then-husband and I would have kids too, but he told me a few years after we got married that he didn't want kids, so I convinced myself that I didn't, either. I'd see moms at the grocery story with a huge cart full of gallons and gallons of milk, tons of cereal, three or four loaves of bread and think "ugh, I'm glad that's not me".

    My daughter was unplanned; at the time that I got pregnant I was 36 and just assumed that I'd never end up having kids. But at this point I can't remember what life was like before she was born; in fact I'll think about things that happened before I was a mom and catch myself thinking "where was she at the time". It's really difficult some days because I'm doing it by myself, she only sees her dad twice a week at best, but she's so much fun and so very treatful, every hardship is worth it.

    The hardest part about being a single parent is that getting a break from having to do everything means I also have to be alone.
    wolfheart likes this.
  8. KLL76

    KLL76 Registered Member

    I think being a mum as the best thing in the world. I understand it is not for everyone and I do find that a little alien but each to your own. I always wanted kids even from an early age. When I found out that I couldnt have kids over time I just accepted it, Ten one day I found out I was pregnant and I began to panic. I felt as though I had let every maternal instict die in me when I was told I couldnt have kids.
    The thing is I am not a very maternal woman but I would do anything for my kids and I could not imagine my life without them. Even though they drive me to near insanity.
    Parenting is the hardest job in the world. You very rarely get thanks and it is very tiring, But very rewarding.
  9. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    I used to assume I'd get married, just because almost everyone does. Now, I'm not so sure. Can't say one way or the other. And I don't plan to have kids if I don't get married.

    I've always liked hanging out with kids (except for a few really annoying ones). But even if I do get married, I probably wouldn't want more than 1 or 2 kids.
  10. Nightsurfer

    Nightsurfer ~Lucky 13 strikes again~

    I love being a parent. There times I want to gag and Ducktape my kids to the wall. Then there the times when they do or say things that are just so darn cute and you melt. I especially love the early morning or just getting up from naps Power hugs. I say enjoy it all while it lasts because before you know it they are off to collage and starting their own lives. Kids grow up fast.
    wolfheart and ysabel like this.

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