Favourite Book Quotes

Chaos

Epic Gamer
V.I.P.
#1
This is a place to post some of your favourite book quotes. Simply post the quote, along with the book title and author, as well as a reason why you like it. All quotes should be direct and word-for-word.

Warning: some quotes may contain swearing.

This first quote was taken from Blaze, by Stephen King (under the pseudonym Richard Bachman), and I like it because it reminded me of friendship, and all the good times it can bring.

They drove off into Boston, stopped at a liquor store, and picked up two fifths of Old Granddad. Then they went to a double feature at the Constitution on Washington Street and watched car-chases and men with automatic weapons. When they left at ten o'clock that evening, they were both blotto. All four hubcaps had been stolen off the Ford. George was mad, even though the hubcaps had been as shitty as the rest of the car. Then he saw someone had also keyed off his VOTE DEMOCRAT bumper-sticker and started to laugh. He sat down on the curb, laughing until tears rolled down his sallow cheeks.
'Taken off by a Reagan-lover,' he said. 'My fuckin word.'
'Maybe the guy who spoiled your fumper-licker wasn't the same guy was took your wheelcaps,' Blaze said, sitting down beside George. His head was whirling, but it was a good whirl. A nice whirl.
'Fumper-licker!' George cried. He bent over as if he had a stomach cramp, but he was screaming with laughter. He tromped his feet up and down. 'I always knew there was a word for Barry Goldwater! Fuckin fumper-licker!' Then he stopped laughing. He looked at Blaze with swimming, solemn eyes and said, 'Blazer, I just pissed myself.'
Blaze began to laugh. He laughed until he fell back on the sidewalk. He had never laughed so hard, not even with John Cheltzman.
 
#2
This is one of my favorite passages from my favorite book, 'John Dies at the End' by David Wong. It's kinda long, but worth the read in my opinion. I love this passage because it is a good excerpt to show some of the humor that David uses in the book.

Well, that sealed it. I was going. I drove back home as fast as I could. I pushed through my front door, through to my bedroom, found my old brown leather duffel bag. I ducked into my bathroom, collected my toothbrush and a comb and contact lens fluid and that sort of thing, then went across the hall to my bedroom and tossed the armload of stuff into the bag. I piled in some clothes and flung myself down the hall and then stopped cold. My bag fell from my hand with a soft thud.
There was a kid standing there, a teenager. Right in the middle of my living room, a space that had been proudly teenager-free for years. He had braces, sported a black Limp Bizkit T-shirt. Limp Bizkit is a band that was popular at the time. If you're fortunate, you've never heard of them.
My eyes met the kid's. He smiled.
I said, "Justin?"
He opened his mouth and emitted a rumbling sound, like something boiling up from his lungs. He closed it again, gathered himself and said brightly, "Dude. I need ya to come roll with me, yo. Know what I'm sayin'?"
I glanced at Molly, who was on the floor, happily drinking water from a Tupperware dish I had sat out for her last night. She finally turned, saw the Justin thing and barked at it.
"That's a hella pretty dog, yo," he said.
"Where uh, are we going, Justin?" I shifted my feet, felt the nudge of the gun against my lower back. I tried to remember which way the grip was pointing, realizing that accidentally dropping the thing on the floor in mid-draw would be the last funny thing I ever did.
"Why you frontin' here, bro? You know what time it is. Stop callin' me Justin like nothing's changed, yo."
"What should I call you, homey?"
"Just call me 'Shitload.' Because there's a shitload of us in here. Now I know you strapped. But before you think about pullin' that nine millimeter I think you better hear what I gots to-"
The left side of Justin's scalp disappeared in a spray of pink brain matter. He was thrown backwards, my finger squeezing the trigger as fast as it could twitch, the sound shattering the air. I had drawn the gun in a mindless reflex, like slapping at a mosquito bite. Little sprays of blood flicked out from Justin's chest and thighs and gut, shots landing and backing him across the room.
He stumbled and fell against a wall, but never went down. The gun clicked dry, but I squeezed the trigger about twenty more times just to be sure there wasn't another shot hiding in there somewhere. Justin righted himself, looked down at his wounds, sighed like a man who has dropped his pie in his lap. He said, "As I was sayin' yo, your little nine is useless against-"
His words were cut off when the empty gun I hurled at him smacked off his cheek, knocking him backwards once more. He brought a hand to his face.
"Son of a bitch. Cut that shit out. Listen to me."
As he spoke, I looked around for something else to throw, found nothing.
"Okay. I'm listening, Shitload."
"We're takin' a road trip, dude."
I couldn't take my eyes off Shitload's gaping head wound. I saw movement there, a crawling white fuzz over the exposed meat, like his innards were growing gray hair.
"Uh, I don't think that's gonna happen," I said.
"He rolled his eyes and moved toward me. I saw now that the white rods were binding up each of his wounds, forming a stitching like the back side of fiberglass.
I threw a flailing punch that missed by a foot. The Justinmonster fired out a low punch, the impact exploding in my groin. I doubled over and collapsed to the carpet, then quickly pushed myself back to my feet. I took another swing at him, missed-he punched me again. In the crotch.
I fell backward, caught myself on a kitchen chair, then picked it up and swung it. I cracked the chair over his shoulder. He shrugged it off, grasped one leg and tossed it aside. He advanced and in a blur threw three more punches that each landed solidly on my balls. A heavy sickness bloomed in my gut, but I kept my feet. I awkwardly kicked at his chest. He caught the leg and delivered an expert crotchkick that finished me.
I went down and stayed down. He clasped both of his hands into one fist, raised it high above his head as if in victory and then with all his might brought it down on my gorin. I blacked out.
Darkness, barking and footsteps. I felt Molly's wet nose on my forehead, then felt her walking over me. All four paws managed to hit my aching crotch on the way over.

Once again, sorry that it's so long, but I felt that the passage was most enjoyable in it's entirety.
 
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