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Fat girls want love too

yettydears

New Member
Once upon a time I was a size 4, 5'4", B cup, blonde beauty. And my boyfriend let me stay the night all the time. I was 17 and he was 21. His roommate was a nerd and socially underdeveloped. When billy would kiss me goodbye and leave for work, Justin would come home and I would be left to my own devices. Knowing the World of Warcraft geek had no time to talk to me, I often tried to get him to at least acknowledge my presence. I would squeel "HI JUSTIN!" as he tromped through the door. "Hiiii" he would groan, as he made his way up the stairs, slamming the door to the outside world.
Flash forward six years. Billy and I had a baby about three years ago. And we broke up about one year ago. Now, I am with Justin, the slightly more socially developed 26 year old. We have an apartment and I am a size 16/18. D cup breasts and dark dirty blonde hair. He is a great guy. He helps me take care of my daughter and he supports me while I go to school.
Recently, however, I feel like there is something off. Justin like small girls. Girls with red hair and a 00 waist. Justin like small boobs, aa-a. And this is NOT what I am. I don't feel like he wants me. I don't feel like he could be sexually attracted to someone so far off his norm.
Every morning I wake up and find "hot young teen slut gets rammed by *insert any phallic like object here*" and it is making me think.
It is making me depressed and having a real effect on our relationship. I know it is my own insecurities manifesting but how can you take your boyfriend seriously when he tells you that you are beautiful then turns around and beats off to a couple young sluts sucking f*ck. Sluts that look nothing like you.
I don't know whether to believe that he is truly interested in me or whether to just let him go and break it off. I feel like he is lying to me. I feel like a beast. I feel like I am not truly what he wants, but he isn't socially developed enough to find anyone else, so for the sake of getting his d!ck wet, he stays.
I wonder what he thinks about when we have sex. He doesn't want me on top and I don't take my shirt off anymore. It is a rare occasion that I even have sex with him when it is light outside. I don't want him to see me because I don't want him to compare me to those girls.
And what happens when we are older? Will he leave me for a younger lady? Will it be two strikes I'm out?
Is this just my insecurity? Should I stick it out? should I break it off? It bothers me.
 
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Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
Recently, however, I feel like there is something off. Justin like small girls. Girls with red hair and a 00 waist. Justin like small boobs, aa-a. And this is NOT what I am. I don't feel like he wants me. I don't feel like he could be sexually attracted to someone so far off his norm.
To me, this is the start of your problem. People have a lot of attractions. I love redheads too. I like petite redheads as well. I also like a girl with a bit of curve, I don't have one exact model of 'sexy' and not a single guy in this world does either.

Every morning I wake up and find "hot young teen slut gets rammed by *insert any phallic like object here*" and it is making me think.
Do you find these things or are you searching for them? I understand you're concerned about these things but if you're snooping around and finding them then this becomes an issue of trust for you.

It is making me depressed and having a real effect on our relationship. I know it is my own insecurities manifesting but how can you take your boyfriend seriously when he tells you that you are beautiful then turns around and beats off to a couple young sluts sucking f*ck. Sluts that look nothing like you.
Why is that unbelievable? Mostly everyone is attracted to a whole myriad of things. I find other girls sexy and I love my girlfriend to pieces, I would do anything for her. He may feel the same for all you know!

It's also perfectly fine for you to be concerned about your relationship, do not downplay your insecurities. It is mature of you to realize they are there but do not shrug them off either. Simply be aware of them.

I don't know whether to believe that he is truly interested in me or whether to just let him go and break it off. I feel like he is lying to me. I feel like a beast. I feel like I am not truly what he wants, but he isn't socially developed enough to find anyone else, so for the sake of getting his d!ck wet, he stays.
To be honest, the fact that you have been labeling him "socially underdeveloped" this whole time makes me wonder why you think this and how you fell for one another. I mean, you say he's supporting you and your child, I'd say that's a pretty mature thing to do. How did you two get together?

Have you even talked yet? If not, you have no idea if he's lying or if you should break anything off. I think like you said, your insecurities are getting to you here.

I wonder what he thinks about when we have sex. He doesn't want me on top and I don't take my shirt off anymore. It is a rare occasion that I even have sex with him when it is light outside. I don't want him to see me because I don't want him to compare me to those girls.
So are you having sex with the lights off because you don't want them on or because he doesn't want them on? You admitted yourself that you have some insecurities and they're showing here.

Just a shot in the dark here, but I think it's possible that your lack of confidence and stress over all these issues is probably giving off a vibe and I bet it's not helping. I mean, I remember with my ex when she was in a bad mood or was brooding over something it just drained me. I didn't want to be around her because she'd say "I'm fine" and it would just piss me off because I knew she had problems but wouldn't bring them to the table for us to solve.

And what happens when we are older? Will he leave me for a younger lady? Will it be two strikes I'm out? ]Is this just my insecurity? Should I stick it out? should I break it off? It bothers me.
You need to talk to him. Every relationship fails or puts one person in eternal misery when they do not talk and share what problems they are having.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I think you need to sit down with him and have a long talk about these things, tell him how you are feeling. If you don't I doubt they get any better.
 

Litharnum

Registered Member
I pretty much agree with everyone's view thus far, it seems like there is a serious lack in communication between yourselves. I also think part of this problem is societies commitment to try to be "normal" we are all unique, and shouldn't be judging because the "hot young teen slut" seems in your mind more attractive to him.

I think it's safe to say we all like to window shop, that guy/girl with the cute butt you just had to look at (don't say you didn't ;) :lol: ) the difference is actually doing something about it. Which I would say most people wouldn't do. Just talk to him, if he's mature enough to help you raise a child then I'm sure he's mature enough to understand your concerns and help you understand his reasons.

I didn't want to be around her because she'd say "I'm fine" and it would just piss me off because I knew she had problems but wouldn't bring them to the table for us to solve.
Remember those days brother!.. lol
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
Don't waste time trying to impress anyone who doesn't already appreciate you just the way you are. If your guy does appreciate and respect you, he'll shield you from his porn addiction and treat you with the respect and attention you deserve. If he's just one of these overgrown children with his head in the screen all the time and little concern for much else, drop him and find a real man.


In either case, don't feel second place because a guy is hooked on smut. It's designed to be addictive to men, literally. Once a guy goes a certain distance down that road there are no off ramps. Brain chemistry takes over and it might as well be a crack pipe. Problem is, it's often not recognized as an addiction, even by the addict. I'd suggest researching sex/porn addiction and learning about it, then make an informed decision about the relationship.


- Chameleon

P.S. Gaming addictions can be just as bad.
 
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