Falling for a guy over the internet.

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Dali, Sep 25, 2008.

  1. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    I am really starting to like a guy over the net, I think I am going to fall in love with him, it certainly feels as if it is going that way. I am completely stunned as this hasn't happened to me before and you also know my situation. What shall I do, have any of you ever been in this situation before? I probably sound like a stupid child but I am serious about this. I know that it isn't lust as I am really not that way inclined, I just, really, really like him, we have this strange connection. I haven't felt this way for such a long time and it's just kind of hit me. I feel excited again. Should I peruse this?

  2. R1pperZ

    R1pperZ Registered Member

    If you really feel that way then why not. Long distance relationships are hard but some times they build a connection between people without sex getting in the way or becoming the whole point of the relationship.

    If there's a possibility to meet later then it could really work it's way to a serious relationship.
    Dali likes this.
  3. Tucker

    Tucker Lion Rampant

    I hope you hve a heart of steel, Dalgirl. I was in a LDR with a girl who was afflicted with BPD. She thought I was Jesus for about a year and said the most wonderful things about me... honestly, the most beautiful expressions of love I'd ever known to exist. She wanted my babies. She said it was me or nothing. She said that she'd love me forever and a day and she'd always be there for me, no matter what. Oh, I was on the whitest cloud in Heaven. Then one day, as it's known to do, the disorder suddenly turned her as cold to me as you could possibly imagine. I know I'll never get over such a long, hard fall from grace, not if I live to be a thousand -- and for all I know, she committed suicide as she had sworn she would if things ever went "tits up" between us. She hasn't communicated with me once since early April. I can only wonder how low she feels about everything now, if she's even still alive.

    I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue this thing, Dalgirl. It could very well be the greatest love of your life. I'm just cautioning you both from experience to beware the heartache that never lets go, because I know how swiftly and completely a long-distance relationship coupled with the burden of BPD can wreak it.


    *sobs like an abandoned child*​
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2008
  4. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    There's nothing wrong with meeting people online and falling in love with them. That said, it can be very dangerous, since people can pretend to be anything online. Also, you should be extra careful because of YOU. You've said that you sometimes feel like nobody in your life cares for you. Which means that when you do find someone who you think does, you'll probably react to them in ways you otherwise wouldn't. So even if he's a decent person, you still need to make sure you don't throw yourself at him out of desperation.

    BTW, people you meet over the internet don't have to be long distance - is this one?
  5. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    Yes it is long distance unfortunately but it is early days yet and anything can happen. I wouldn't throw myself at anyone out of desperation not to sound big headed but I can go out any time I please and pick up any man I want, that is only because I am a woman, it is pretty easy for ladies to pick up guys if they really want it. That is not what I am looking for though, I want something solid, I want passion and excitement back in my life, I wouldn't get what I want from just anyone, it has to be right.
  6. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Sorry, I should have clarified myself better. I didn't mean throw yourself at him sexually (although that could be an issue to, for many people), but just that people who feel unloved in life often fall madly in love with someone who shows they care about them, even a little bit.
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I share Wade's concern based on what you post here about your feelings about your life and self. Anyway, enjoy the conversations. I don't think there's any harm in that. Maybe you'll get lucky and the one you have found is for keeps (it has happened to some). Just make sure you still protect yourself. It IS the internet.
  8. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    I know what you are saying, and yes I do fall fast, but I haven't fallen for anyone in a long time so this is kinda of new to me, I have to find my feet and understand what I am feeling for this guy. Thank you. :)
  9. Duke1985

    Duke1985 EatsApplePieShitsFreedom

    I'm actually getting married to a girl I met on the internet years ago.
    I do recomened getting together in person, if for nothing else to get spend some real time together. As much as you can if this releationship works out for you, it seems to help.

    I wish you the best of luck.
  10. Millz

    Millz LGB Staff Member V.I.P.

    I have technically fallen in love with someone over the internet but the only difference was she was a friend of my roommates girlfriend. I knew she was legit so there wasn't much thought about it on my part that she could be a stalker or a crazy person.

    I think after talking with someone for a while over the net you can begin to know they are who they say that they are. I would do it with caution but I dont see why you couldnt meet up if you like him that much and talk all the time.

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