I found something out yesterday and it's really playing on my mind. I've already decided I'll never mention it to my boyfriend but I just want to get it off my chest!! So here goes... My boyfriend was a friend of my ex-flatmates and we met when he came to stay at our flat for my ex-f/mate's birthday 3 years ago. We hit it off straight away and kissed just before he left the next day. But I didn't hear anything from him. So I started seeing someone else. But then my now BF started staying with my friend at our flat most weekends and he would get really drunk and quite depressed. He told me later that it was because I was with someone else which is what I had suspected. Our mutual friend had refused to give him my number or email or anything. Anyway my relationship ended quickly and badly and one day I got a message from my now BF saying merry christmas. I replied and we started talking on the phone and online. We started our relationship 3 months after we first met and it's been great. He's my best friend and we've always been completely honest with eachother about our pasts, or so I thought!! So yesterday I went to check my email but when I opened gmail it went straight to my BFs account. There were emails there between him and an American girl that he'd met online. They were really sexually explicit and they talked about her coming over to the UK to see him. They would also talk on AIM and she was leaving him sexy voicemail on his mobile. She was constantly telling him that she was in love with him too. Now this all happened between the time that we met and ended before we started talking at christmas. There was no overlap. But he has never ever mentioned her to me. He's told me about all of his exes. And he's always been shy with me - I've always had to fight and fight for a sexy message from him! I had a similar type of thing going on with someone once where we would text and phone and meet up for a bit of fun sometimes, and he knows all about that too. And I'm a bit annoyed too that I've been guilty for years that I was with someone else when he wanted to be with me, and all the while he was getting his thrills too! Any opinions anyone? If I discussed it with him he'd be really angry that I read his emails, and it's not worth the fight cause it doesn't affect our relationship or my trust in him. But if he was happy to discuss my similar experiences why not share himself??