DOs and DON'Ts of getting over someone

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by ysabel, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    This isn't really about how to mend your broken ego/heart but practical tips on how to let go of someone. What has worked for you? What do you advice others to do or not do when the objective is getting over someone?

    For example:

    If your internet avatar is a picture of you and your ex as a couple, it's probably best to change it.

    Stop finding excuses to talk to your ex or to someone who has clearly shown that s/he's not into you.

    If you can't stop from texting or calling the person each time you see your phone, delete his/her contact details. Hmm, people don't memorise numbers anymore these days, right?
     

  2. Sim

    Sim Registered Member

    My advice when you're lovesick is to keep yourself busy, in order to rediscover you have more in your life than just your ex-love -- try to enjoy your work or hobbies.

    Try to look at the positive side of it all, you have more time for doing things you wanted to do for quite a while already, like reading a good book, meeting buddies or watching a good movie.

    I know, that sounds much easier than it is, the moment you're lovesick. But on the long run, it has always helped me.
     
  3. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    I mean, that just seems like common sense to me and that's even if I need to get over that person in the first place. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bastard but I think there are better ways to get over someone than just protocol.

    -Spending a day with your best of friends can help take your mind off of whoever has your heart and libido in a scramble. Good times can defeat the bad.

    -If you've met someone else who interests you but you're still not ready to move on, just spending time with that person (not even on a date). It can help remove yourself from attachment.

    -Stay away from booze (though I might be bit of a hypocrite in the future for saying that). My rule of thumb is only drink when I want to, not when I need to. That is, I only drink when I'm happy or in a good mood.

    -STOP CHECKING FACEBOOK, YOUR PHONE AND ANY OTHER DIGITAL COMMUNICATION YOU HAVE. Believe that you'll never speak to this person again. If they broke up with you, chances are they aren't going to be talking to you anytime soon for reasons you hope for. If they do call you then the ball's in your court (that is if you really decide you want them back). Otherwise cut off all contact with that person if you plan to move on.

    -If this breakup is temporary (i.e. "We need some space" bullshit which I despise) play the cold shoulder. If they really do want you back, they'll call you. A temporary break-up played right is like the Cold War; there's no combat on the front lines and eventually one side will cave.

    There's some of my virtues when it comes to separation.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2009
    ysabel likes this.
  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Don't try to get your ex jealous. I hear this one all the time. People actually think it's fun to taunt and rip on their exes. Grow up.
     
  5. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    Stop asking questions about him and showing interest.
    The less you know after the break up, the better.
     
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    It's common to have a temporary amnesia. One day, you feel very confident and know exactly why you should get over someone and how. Then another day, you seem to have forgotten everything and rationalise why you think you should not get over the person. During these amnesic episodes, it would help if you have friends to help you recall. Or why not write them down yourself when you are fine so you can read it later when you have your memory lapse? :lol:
     
  7. Impact

    Impact Registered Member V.I.P. Lifetime

    If your ex has moved on already, don't abuse (verbally or physically) the new partner. Makes you look like the psychotic ex.

    Never, ever get back with your ex. I see this all the time with my friends. The reason you broke up is still there, and will probably be the reason for the break up that is undoubtedly on the horizon. Plus there will be the constant, who did he/she sleep with while we had broken up on your mind.

    Don't be ashamed to cry. Let it all out. Makes for a quicker recovery.
     
  8. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    On the other hand, don't try to befriend the new partner just for the reason that you have something in common: your ex.

    My ex-bf's ex gf (got that?) emailed me to introduce herself while I was going out with ex-bf. She said if I have questions about ex-bf or want useful info about my him, she'll willingly answer. And she even invited me for drinks. That was weird.
     
  9. Altanzitarron

    Altanzitarron Tamer Of The LOLzilla

    How strange that I should read this thread today after having a very confusing dream about my ex last night...

    As far as "Dos and Don'ts" go I pretty much agree with everything already said, especially by Italiano. Facebook can be a nightmare in a breakup!

    Bare in mind I've never had a bad break up, despite the sadness it has always been on good terms so my advice is going to be more useful if your trying to stay friends. My personal approach has always been;

    Take down any pictures of you two together. No need to bin them just get them out of everyday sight.

    Be polite and friendly with your ex when you bump into them but don't over step boundarys with hugs etc unless they initiate it first.

    When talking avoid topics such as your new love interests or new boyfriends / girlfriends - although Ive been forced to break this one lately.

    If you start feeling like you want them back you have to remember that you broke up for a reason.

    Don't pester your ex, theres nothing worse than constant text messages or MSN convo's when you're trying to get some distance.

    I always try to act like my normal self around them even if seeing them has bummed me out. I always think about how I would like them to see me and try to act accordingly. This way it reminds them of what they always liked about you and remember you for the good times not the sadness of how everything ended.

    Don't sleep together - clean breaks are the best but I've learned that first hand.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2009
    Italiano likes this.
  10. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    To continue with Al's last tid bit there, bever and I mean NEVER, hook up again with an ex. It just brews and ensues for further frustration and if not bigger trouble then a big pain in the ass. Save your further debauchery for the next lucky winner that comes along... :heh:
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2009

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