Don't Fart in Bed


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I just keep wondering why was this guy eating Vaseline
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>>> If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
>>> I'll pray for you.
>>> This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
>>> The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of passing
>>> gas loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
>>> the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>>> Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
>>> it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
>>> perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
>>> one day he would blow his guts out.
>>> The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
>>> Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
>>> was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
>>> turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
>>> malicious thought came to her.
>>> She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
>>> and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
>>> waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
>>> shorts.
>>> Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
>>> which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
>>> footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
>>> The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
>>> laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had
>>> got him back pretty good.
>>> About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
>>> bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her
>>> lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,"Honey, you were right.
>>> All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
>>> "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
>>> "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up blowing my guts
>>> out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
>>> Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."