Do you have to love your parents?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by AngelsPeak, Jul 2, 2009.

  1. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    Do you feel as though you owe allegiance to your parents because they gave you life?

    I'll answer soon, I'm just curious to see a few thoughts first.

  2. Twitch

    Twitch Registered Member

    Maybe if they abused you as a child, or such.

    I get mad at my dad so much sometimes, I want to hit him., Doesn't mean I hate him.
  3. AwkwardlyYours

    AwkwardlyYours Registered Member

    I'm not sure about this one.

    I do feel an allegiance to my parents... but it has nothing to do with the fact they gave me life. It has mostly to do with the fact they gave me food and shelter and toys and necessities for my growth. I'm grateful to them and love them for it.

    But... I don't feel that I have to love them. I just... do.
  4. viLky

    viLky ykLiv

    I feel sort of like this. I don't feel love for them because they gave me food, water and shelter, mainly because if you become a parent then it's a given. You should provide for your children. They shouldn't expect "Well, I gave you food, water and shelter, you should love and obey me!" Na, that's just being a parent. You're expected to give that if you choose to bring a child into this world.

    What makes me love my parents is all the "extras" they have given me in life: taking me to events, celebrations, Christmas', theme parks and everything else. They didn't need to do that, but they did. It was very special and we bonded closely. They treated me well, loved me even when I made a foolish decision and helped me in life. Grateful for that, love them for that and all that mushy stuff.
  5. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime


    I had a crappy, abusive father. I used to hate him...but now I don't even hate him. I just don't care about him. If he died tomorrow, I'm not even sure that I would mourn about it. I might mourn for all the things that he should have been to me...but I felt like I've already been through that and wouldn't even mourn that much.

    My mother, however, is simply awesome. I applaud her courage in raising 2 children as a single mother in the 80s. I think she did a fantastic job and I am very close with her. I absolutely love and adore her, even with all her faults.
  6. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    No, that's not good enough reason to love someone. Gratitude, maybe. But love, no you don't have to love anyone. It's not an emotion that can be forced.
  7. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    One approach: I didn't ask to be born, so that act doesn't mean I "owe" them something. The fact that they raised me, cared for me, and gave me the upbringing I had is what I owe them for. So I believe as long as you had parents or a parent that made sure you had a good childhood and helped you grow in positive ways, I don't know how you couldn't love them for being so dedicated and willingly changing their lives.
  8. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    In a way it feels sort of compulsory to me, to love your parents. I remember when I was younger a friend told me she didn't love hers (trouble child) and I was so shocked, I couldn't believe it. Of course I don't love them because I feel I have to, it just feels like there's no other choice.. in a non-sinister sense.
  9. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    Strange how emotions have a way of becoming numb, isn't it? I'd say my feelings toward the man who gave me life are somewhat comparable to yours. If my dad were to die tomorrow, it would just be another day to me. Same with my mom.
    I really believe that some people should never have had kids, these two are at the top of that list.
    AnitaKnapp likes this.
  10. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I don't think we have to love anyone. I mean I hope my kids will love me because they really do and not because they feel obliged to love me due to the nature of our blood relationship. I also give them reason to love me. I think when you make it an expectation that one should love the other, no matter what, we stop trying to make that relationship work and we take things for granted.

    My dad hasn't been involved in half of my life but he's a kind man and I know he loves us. We just didn't have time together like normal father-children do. I wasn't forced to love him, but if someone asks me if I do, I'd say yes. Allegiance? No.

    ETA: I think as kids, we are conditioned in a way by society to "love our parents". We accept it as a given. But when we're older and more independent, we realise that it doesn't have to be automatic and if our parents are wrong, we can get angry. If they turn out to be horrible parents, then it's alright not to feel warm fuzzies towards them as we have been conditioned before.

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