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Do you believe in second chances?

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
Are you someone that believes in second chances? Or, if someone has done you wrong, or did something extremely horrible that you would never be able to forgive that person and give them a second chance, even though he/she promises you they have changed.

Thoughts?
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Its according to what it is. If its not real serious I probably could. Something like knowingly putting me in harms way, no.
 

EdgeHead

Registered Member
Depends on how much it affected me, truth be told. I was bullied in school by people I was hanging out with in high school and I'd never give them a second chance. They're dead to me. One of them lost his father to a freak accident after a tree fell on him; didn't even reach him to send him my condolences. Some will probably find me heartless but when you've been hurt like I was, you protect yourself any way you can, even if this means literally crossing people off your life like they've never existed.
 

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
I'm pretty forgiving so in most circumstances I'd say, yes. Yes, you should give people a second chance. And I'll give you an example. The guy I'm dating at the moment (I'm hesitant to call him my boyfriend because while we're exclusively dating each other, we're not Facebook official yet) flaked on our very first date. It was annoying as fuck because like a turd, he canceled like 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet up. My entire day was put on hold for him and I HATE downtime. Also, flaking on someone with anxiety is a really bad idea. Anyways, every single one of my friends told me to lose his number and unfriend him from Facebook because there's nothing worse than a flake who has zero respect for your time. Also, during your first date you're supposed to put your best foot forward yadda yadda. While I was pretty hesitant to meet up with him the second time, I gave it a shot - a) because he's incredibly good looking and b) I had nothing to do on a Thursday night anyways. Point is, I'm glad I didn't write him off for flaking because if I had I would have missed out on the amazing connection I made with him. We're literally the same person. And unlike all the other people I've dated, he actually encourages growth in me. And of course, it turns out that it was his own crippling anxiety that made him flake the first time.... also, he said I was too pretty and he got nervous.... although, I think that was him just trying butter me up. I'll give him an A for effort, though. My point is, sometimes a lot of good can come out of giving someone a second chance. Give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

Same with friends. If they've hurt you, and have truly mended their ways - give them a chance to prove it. Sometimes people will surprise you. I'm not saying be a pushover though.

That being said, I also think it depends on how severe the other person's actions are as well. I never give exes a second chance. Once we're over, I go no contact. No more second chances. I'll forgive a lot of shit, but if you break my heart then all bets are off. I'm not going to waste my time and youth on people who won't think twice about breaking my heart.
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
a) because he's incredibly good looking and
Is that even possible? We're guys. How incredible can we be? Regular good looking... alright, maybe, but are any of us really that "incredible"??? Meh.... still trying to get my mind around that.

But otherwise, why is it that what friends generally say about other people as romantic interests are always so negative? Pisses me off. They're so eager to break off possible connections and it's worrisome. Shouldn't they be ROOTING for you rather than looking to give you excuses for not seeing the person a second time? Makes me mad. Especially if there's possibly a logical explanation for it like it appears here. Makes me mad.

Same thing happens with girls. The slightest thing wrong with them, and they (your friends) act like you can find more where they came from just like that. Well, yeah, that might physically be the case, but it's like "Why am I even hanging out with you if your first instinct is to tear up anything I might build here?"
 

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
Is that even possible? We're guys. How incredible can we be? Regular good looking... alright, maybe, but are any of us really that "incredible"??? Meh.... still trying to get my mind around that.

But otherwise, why is it that what friends generally say about other people as romantic interests are always so negative? Pisses me off. They're so eager to break off possible connections and it's worrisome. Shouldn't they be ROOTING for you rather than looking to give you excuses for not seeing the person a second time? Makes me mad. Especially if there's possibly a logical explanation for it like it appears here. Makes me mad.

Same thing happens with girls. The slightest thing wrong with them, and they (your friends) act like you can find more where they came from just like that. Well, yeah, that might physically be the case, but it's like "Why am I even hanging out with you if your first instinct is to tear up anything I might build here?"
I suppose me saying that he's "incredibly" good looking may be construed as subjective, but I honestly think he's incredibly good looking, especially compared to the fellas I've dated in the past. Dare I say, he might be the best looking guy I've ever dated. Although, do keep in mind that sometimes a person can be a 7 or 8, but once you realize they're pretty much you but in a tall white dude's body, they become a full-blown 10. Haha. However, his looks are really just the icing on the cake, to be fair.

And I'm not sure what the deal with most friends are.... If I had to guess, maybe they're projecting because of their own disappointments when it comes to dating and relationships? Who knows. I mean, he does things that are considered deal breakers to some of my friends. For example, he's a shitty texter. He only uses texting to set up plans and junk. That's a no no for some of my friends. "Oh my god, he thinks you're a booty call, Sam!!" They got to me that I actually ended up confronting him. And of course, that wasn't the case at all. In fact, he seemed a bit hurt and caught off guard when I asked him. I actually should have known better than to listen to them, especially because he's done nothing but treat me with respect and affection. If he doesn't text back, I just don't take it personally anymore. He's a bad texter, and that's all there is to it.

I listen to my friends' advice, but I think about it now before I act on it. I get to decide what's a deal breaker to me, not them.
 

BJBirdy

Registered Member
It depends on what happened. I really don't like carrying around hate cause it adds unnecessary stress, but I generally treat people how they treat me (so if I start being a dick to you, it probably means you were a dick to me at some point and I'm just paying you back).

For the most part though, not that I'm not open to second chances, I just easily move on with my life once I've been without someone in it for a while. Everyone is replaceable.
 

ATARIGUY

Beermister
I gave my now EXGF a second chance and she did the same thing to me so I will never ever give her a 3rd chance. . . . . . .

I had a best friend since the 3rd grade and he screwed me over twice so I want nothing to do with him ever again
 

Konshentz

Konshentz
Yes. Absolutely. Everyone gets a second chance. Hell, they probably get a third, fourth and fifth too. Haha. I've made so many mistakes, I just wouldn't feel right cutting someone completely off after one. There's definitely a limit though.
 

NewGamePlus

Registered Member
I just realized I never actually answered the topic question.

Everything is case-by-case basis, basically. Probably why I never answered it. Way too general.

I can't even think of any really good examples without going instantly into TMI territory.

It's actually a challenge to answer this without coming across like a spam response. That's how big the TMI-territory is for me.

There are so many aspects to weigh.

This is why I quote other people so much (just in case anybody was wondering).

Kinda tired of it. But it's REALLY big TMI territory for me. The insignificant things that you would give people second chances on don't really come up for me. It's either debateable or no. Meh...
 
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