Divorce, right or wrong?

#1
I'm starting this because of another thread regarding Robin Williams and his upcoming divorce.
I noticed a couple of people made comments regarding working it out, and hoping they could do that instead of going through with the divorce.
My question is this, if a couple has grown apart, why bother trying to work it out? Don't people change?
Is it really fair to subject yourself to someone until your dying day if you're not happy with that person any longer?
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#2
dammit, I typed out a long reply to this and the site crashed on me!

no, I don't see anything wrong with divorce. Not that it's easy, by any means; no matter how bad things get, it's still a loss and it's really hard to go through. But life is too short to be unhappy.
 

Swiftstrike

Registered Member
#3
People change it happens. But I think people who are getting a divorce shouldnt get married in the first place especially if they have kids. That's my opinion though.
 

ExpectantlyIronic

e̳̳̺͕ͬ̓̑̂ͮͦͣ͒͒h̙ͦ̔͂?̅̂ ̾͗̑
#4
This topic brings to mind a related question: does marriage really serve any purpose in our society anymore? I'm not quite sure what the point of marriage is, beyond the tax benefits, if it does not result in some degree of social expectation or pressure for any given married couple to remain married. Isn't that the whole idea behind the business, after all?

That's not to say I think unhappy couples should stay together because they are married, but rather that I don't see much point to marriage at all, given divorce rates and whatnot.
 
#5
People change it happens. But I think people who are getting a divorce shouldnt get married in the first place especially if they have kids. That's my opinion though.
But you don't get married in anticipation of a divorce sometime in the future. Like your first sentence states, people change. Sometimes couples get closer over the years, and other times they head in opposite directions.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#6
George if you had ever been married you might see things differently. Hindsight is 20/20. Nobody, or hardly anybody anyway, goes into marriage thinking "if this doesn't work, hell, we can always get divorced".

Even if there are no kids involved, it's not easy. It's a huge loss, it's a hell of a thing to admit that it's time to throw in the towel, it's scary being on your own again, I could go on and on.
 

Swiftstrike

Registered Member
#7
But you don't get married in anticipation of a divorce sometime in the future. Like your first sentence states, people change. Sometimes couples get closer over the years, and other times they head in opposite directions.

Yeah true. But I am saying you most of the marriages I have seen the couple has been dating 3-4 years get married then they are divorced in less than 2 years.

Once you make the decison to get married I think you make the decison to be in it for the long haul...people change but I think if you prolong getting married until you are older you can have a better idea who your companion is...People can become unhappy but I think if you have kids and then get divorced that is simply irresponsible and selfish. I've seen too many people make terrible decisons on marriage at such a young age just to get divorced because they are unhappy.


Marriage serves both legal and religious purposes to most people EI. You get married before your deity to show your commitment to your companion.

Personally, I'm not huge on marriage. I see it as a constraint and i dont hold religion in terribly high regard so really marriage to me is showing your commitment to your lover before your family members and to each other.

I think you can be monogomous and live a happy life and never get married.
 
#8
.

People can become unhappy but I think if you have kids and then get divorced that is simply irresponsible and selfish.
I agree with this to a point. If the kids ae being subjected to the parents fighting then it's not being selfish, it's removing them from an unhealthy environment.
On the other hand, and I'm posting this because a lot of people here already know my situation..if the parents still get along and aren't fighting then I agree, it is unfair to the kids. My girls are happy where they are in life right now (school, friends...etc) which is why I won't be going thorugh with a divorce until they are all graduated from school. Unless I'm able to find a way to support them in a manner they're use to, I plan on sticking it out for a few more years...but I know there is no "working it out" as far as the marriage goes.
 

Mirage

Administrator
Staff member
V.I.P.
#9
Well if you have young kids it's going to be impossible for them to understand. It will turn their world upside down. If you have young kids then I think you should take absolutely every step to try to "fix" what went wrong.

Sometimes in the cases of a cheating spouse many would argue that the marriage is beyond fixing.

If you don't have kids then it's not as big of a deal but even so I don't think divorce should be taken lightly. There are definitely circumstances that warrant it though and should it happen you just have to make the best of your situation and move on. Some things can't be avoided. Other times people just aren't willing to work things out, which is their decision, but if they have kids then they should take every step possible towards working things out. Especially with cases where each parent takes some of the kids and they are split up for the rest of their lives. That's not fair if you ask me. I think the kids shouldn't be split up because of the parents divorce. After all it wasn't their fault so why should they lose their siblings over the deal?
 

Merc

Certified Shitlord
V.I.P.
#10
It's an archaic idea that two people can love each other their entire lives. People do change and people find others attractive as well, so it's only natural that people have split apart. Obviously, it's a good idea to try and work things out but if you find yourself drifting too far apart from your spouse, why not talk it over and so what if divorce is the answer? I think children are deciding factors though, because I think it's best for a child to have two parents in the same household.

Don't get all bitchy, I'm not saying children with two separately housed parents are doomed or always have been, it's just what I've witnessed.