Disabilities and handling your partner's needs

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Oooh_snap, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. Oooh_snap

    Oooh_snap Living on the 0th floor V.I.P. Lifetime

    Okay, they were talking about this on the radio the other day. A guy became quadriplegic after an accident, and his wife was concerned that she could no longer be satisfied in the bedroom. Since he knew he was no longer going to be able to do the deed he asked one of his buddies to fill his spot as long as there was no kissing involved and it was strictly for pleasure and it was never behind his back, and he knew when it was going to happen.

    Of course, this ended in a divorce and 2 friends split because the wife developed feelings for the other guy and no one could handle the stress of what had happened.

    So, if you became paralyzed and was unable to satisfy your partner sexually, would you ask someone to do the job? Would you ask a friend or make plans with someone you did not personally know? Or would you rather expect your partner to remain faithful to you and give up sex?

    Do you think that people are able to have sex on a frequent basis without developing feeling for one another?

    I will answer later on, I don't want to make the OP too long =)
     

  2. NINnerd

    NINnerd Survived a M&G with Trent

    I know that some male quadrapeligics and some parapeligics can take Viagra and have sex with their girlfriends/wives as long as she's on top. Of course, it isn't as great as non-disabled sex, but it's something. But there are some couples who do this and are fine with it. When the woman is the disabled one, you can just put lube down there and have sex that way. Again, not as great. The woman might just feel like a "hole" or "vessel" at that point.

    If I was with someone, and I became quad or para, I'm not sure what I would do.

    I wouldn't be very comfortable letting my boyfriend/husband have sex with someone else, but I would feel awful, too. I might let him go every once in a while to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada because that's more of a business deal than just sex. You know? There is no chance of a relationship developing from that.
     
  3. Impact

    Impact Registered Member V.I.P. Lifetime

    I think it would be weird to ask a friend, there are just some favours you can't ask of someone. I think i'd prefer to let them go to a prostitute (the same one each time) so they're not having sex with a complete stranger, but there is no chance it will progress to an emotional level. People have needs, and as they're willing to stick by you and look after you when you're pretty much incapable of doing anything, I think a little leeway could be given for them to satisfy those needs.
     
  4. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    Same, I would never ask a friend to 'fill in' for me, that was pretty dumb. I think ultimately I would leave it up to my partner to decide. If they choose to have sex with someone else they know then the relationship between us probably isn't going so well anyway.
     
  5. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    I agree.
    Though I would like to think there are other ways of satisfying your partner even without the full act.
     
  6. Twitch

    Twitch Registered Member

    I agree with NIN, i'd have my partner hire a prostitute.. But not ones that are like, off the street.

    They'd also have to be not too good looking.
     
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    No I wouldn't ask. It makes me think like I'm pimping my partner. :lol:


    No and I don't want him to do that. Maybe we'll hire prostitute (hey, I can even watch!). :)


    Yes it's possible, provided they aren't intimate (like good friends) prior to the act and both view sex as just a physical thing.
     
  8. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Absolutely not. I don't know what I'd do. Sex is an important part of a relationship to me and if I ever lost the ability, I would honestly be lost. Because I'd always want my girlfriend/wife to be satisfied but it can be hard without the "real thing" since toys are not going to give you the same response. I would never resort to a surrogate penis because the same situation you described would most likely happen. The person would develop feelings or start doing it behind your back.

    Almost never. It's hard to do it without developing some sort of feelings for the person unless you can set some sort of agreement between the people stating that they are strictly friends with benefits and I know people that have tried that and it failed.
     
  9. RJ-Cool

    RJ-Cool "Expect the unexpected"

    So, if you became paralyzed and was unable to satisfy your partner sexually, would you ask someone to do the job? Would you ask a friend or make plans with someone you did not personally know?

    A resounding NO! I wouldn't be able to deal with it.

    Or would you rather expect your partner to remain faithful to you and give up sex?


    Well, it would be nice if she decided to find creative ways to be satisfied while staying within the realm of being faithful but, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of her being happy so, I'd allow her to choose and be supportive of her choice.

    Do you think that people are able to have sex on a frequent basis without developing feeling for one another?


    Yes and No.
    I think for some men it's a lot easier (probably too easy).... some women on the other hand are more emotional so, there is a greater chance of complications where feelings are concerned.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2010

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