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Diaries of a pizza guy

pro2A

Hell, It's about time!
I deliver pizzas on the side... attached is a list I made up of thing that as a pizza guy is common courtesy in order to make things easier to deliver your pizza. These are things that you'd think are common sense, but as much as you'd like to think, pizza guys are not mind readers, nor are we super men.

1. If you live on a dark rural road and order pizza a lot, get a reflective house number along the road.
2. If you don't have a house number period, get one.
3. Turn your fucking porch light on.
4. If you're expecting a pizza listen for the door. We will leave if we can't reach you.
5. If you get an unexpected phone call and are waiting on a pizza, answer it. It's probably the pizza guy calling to get directions or saying he is at the door with no answer.
6. If you live in an odd location, give CLEAR directions to your house. Nothing sucks more then driving around for 10 minutes looking for a house.
7. When the pizza guy puts you on hold on the phone, we're not doing it because we're standing around with our thumbs up our ass. We do have other customers. When they say "Can you please hold" that means I'm talking to another customer.
8. Giving a pizza guy a $20 for a $19.75 order and telling him to keep the change is not a tip.
9. Pizza guys remember which houses do not tip.
10. Don't get mad when the pizza guy counts the money you just gave him, he eats the cost if you short him.
11. Don't spend 10 minutes digging for change. Have the money ready at the door.
12. If the pizza is late, again we have other customers too. We take them in the order they were received. Quite often 2 or 3 at a time. Again this is not laziness.
13. The time you are quoted for delivery is not exact. If we say a half an hour its because we may be dead at that moment. Then we may get 15 calls right after that obviously extending the delivery times.
14. Don't spend 15 minutes deciding what you want on the phone, figure that out before you order. When you call, we want to enter your order right away because there are other customers and/or deliveries waiting to be run.
15. If you have a large bill, tell us. Pizza guys carry at most $20 bucks. We make cash drops all night. I can't bring more then $20 unless you tell me first.
16. Don't send your 6 year old to the door to get and pay for the pizza.
17. Don't call and complain about the drivers on the road, no one at the store cares.
18. Pizza guys will go the extra mile if they know you tip well.


This is just a little insight on the world of delivering pizzas. I hope everyone here can benefit from this list. Enjoy your pizza ;)
 
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Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
I read your list, Pro, and you'll be glad to know that if you delivered to me you'd be a happy dude.

I actually got a pizza tonight. Porch light on, good tip.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
Very well said~
And I think you did a fine job with your list!
I am a great pizza customer....I ask for the exact amount, so I will have that amount ready, plus an additional $2 to $3 tip for the driver.
I answer the door, have my porch light on....and am usually watching out the front window to see when the pizza car rolls up, so I can have the door open and waiting :)
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
8. Giving a pizza guy a $20 for a $19.75 order and telling him to keep the change is not a tip.
That is bullshit. I remember we ordered pizza at my old apartment when I just moved in and my friend payed for it. I asked how much did you tip the man and he said nothing they get paid on a salary. I hurried and ran out and gave the man a $7 tip. After that I told him that these guys usually have to pay for there own gas and they depend on tips just like waiters. My friend got a good chew out while we were eating, made him feel like a piece of crap.
 
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pro2A

Hell, It's about time!
Pizza guys are timed, so we don't have a lot of extra time. It just helps a great deal when we can find the place quick, and have a smooth, pleasant, and quick transaction. Unfortunately we can't always be there in the time quoted. Say for example you live at 123 main st. A direct ride there may take 30 minutes, and we'll quote you that. Then we'll get 2 more calls after we take your order for 2nd and 3rd street as well.

What will happen then is we will take all three orders for 2nd and 3rd street (which are closer) first and then your order on main street last since it is the furthest address adding about 15 minutes to your quoted time. Many people seem to think we're just fucking off and taking our time which is not the case.
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That is bullshit. I remember we ordered pizza at my old apartment when I just moved in and my friend payed for it. I asked how much did you tip the man and he said nothing they get paid on a salary. I hurried and ran out and gave the man a $7 tip. After that I told him that these guys usually have to pay for there own gas and they depend on tips just like waiters. My friend got a good chew out while we were eating, made him feel like a piece of crap.
That is true. We use our personal vehicles and gas. There is a lot of wear and tear we take on our personal cars. The company usually will give you about 1/4 of the going gas price per delivery. We get less then minimum wage because we work for tips. if you don't tip, we don't get paid. If there is a delivery charge, the driver does not get it. Maybe at most .80 cents a delivery.
 
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Impact

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I never thought about the leaving the porch light on, and it's just common sense too. Why the hell didn't I think of that? Haha.

I'm one of those people who lives in a really retarded place. There is a tiny sign up on the street that points down our lane with house numbers on it, but every delivery guy misses it. Generally one of us ends up standing out on the street the first delivery, and they seem to remember on visits after that.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
19. If you do send your 6 year old to the door, and he tucks the pizza under his arm like a book, don't call the store to complain that all the cheese ran off one side of the pizza.
 

CaptainObvious

Embrace the Suck
V.I.P.
This is a really good list and very good tips. I delivered pizzas in college. I agree, we always remembered who tipped well. When those people would order we would always give them extra pepparoni, maybe throw in a 2 liter drink from time to time, because they would order often and tip well. And I always made sure they got their pizzas ASAP to make sure they're were still warm. To keep the tips coming.
 

Iris

rainbow 11!
i'm just gonna point out that not everyone can afford a tip, there are few times where i was broke and my parents were out of town, so i ordered a pizza with not much cash left over to tip. normally i will tip at the very least, five dollars.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
The pizza delivery guys at our college probably hated all of us to be honest. We were college kids, after all. If we tipped 2 bucks they were getting a deal. It wasn't because we were being assholes it's because we didn't have the money to tip that much. These days it's a lot different...I tip well.

I remember one instance in college the pizza guy called us and said he was downstairs (or would be there shortly) so I ran down with the money and he was nowhere to be seen. I waited for like 15 minutes before I walked around to try and find him. Finally, I spoted him using the internet at the computer near the mail boxes. Mind you, this isn't that close to the lobby where all the pizza guys would drop off the pizza. So I tipped him about 50 cents and told him he should consider doing his job and stop playing around. I wish I could be that confrontational these days haha.
 
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