Dating a friends EX?

Discussion in 'Politics & Law' started by Omega, Nov 21, 2006.

  1. Omega

    Omega Ω

    I am sorry Merc but I saw this in another thread and I want to know from everyone what is so wrong with doing this. I mean ok she/he is your ex so why does it matter who dates him/her it is not like you guys have something still or you two would still be together. So another thing if you are dating someone and you find out one of your friends are dating one of your ex's does it still get to you and why? Also this question is not just for Merc this is for anyone that feels this way or has any imput. Myself I feel that if I went out with a girl and no matter how close her and, if I screw up and she dumps me or, I she screws up and I dump her or, if the love is gone and we split, then she is far game again.
     

  2. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    At the core if the problem, it just seems to make things awkward between you and your friend. That's one of the simpler ways of putting it.

    This depends though. If the relationship ends on a sour note, I'd imagine there'd be less care what happens. However, if it ends on a simple, "let's just be friends" or "go our seperate ways" sort of deal, then it's harder. It's also not about being together or having something again, it's fact that friendships become weird between your friend and ex.

    It all depends really. Like I said, if the relationship ended on a bad note and you knew you couldn't be friends afterwards, it would not be as strange if your friend started dating the ex.

    Also, the friend in my case was a fairly close one. I wasn't referring to some pal you chill with every once in a while.

    Screw ups make things less awkward, but it's still the whole core of the idea that if a good friend of yours dates an ex of yours, that things can get weird. I'm not going to go into too much detail about my situation because believe it or not, my ex flipped on me the last time I spoke about her annonymously. I don't really care to get into another pissing contest with her, so we'll leave it at that.
     
  3. Pugz

    Pugz Ms. Malone V.I.P. Lifetime

    It's like a rule or something, Omega. You NEVER date your best friends of regular friends guy/girl, it's like the 'never date your friends sister/brother', it just complicates things and makes it weird.
     
  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    It's just a foggy subject. Sometimes it's no big deal, sometimes it really fucks things up. It really does depend on the situation.
     
  5. raddmadd

    raddmadd Registered Member

    Just like one of my good friends said, people aren't property so it shouldn't matter if someone dates your EX. But like if you just break up with someone and you still have feelings for them and are just getting over them, you usually don't want to see them dating other people, so its really a diss when you see your friend dating them. but if your totally over them and don't mind seeing them date other people, i dont' see why it would be a problem.
     
  6. oxyMORON

    oxyMORON A Darker Knight

    I think it'd we really weird and awkward, especially if you still like your ex. It's like "Dude, what the hell are you doing?" And besides, your best friend should know that you still feel bad about a breakup and not make thins worse by going out with your ex.
     
  7. breathilizer

    breathilizer Resident Ass-Kisser

    Beware: Scientifically baseless analysis below!

    It's inherit in a situation like this that a competitive drive will kick in between cooperative members of a group.

    If the friend initiates the break up, he may look down upon you for accepting a poor quality mate. He may then feel superior, and act it out. This may cause conflict between the two of you.

    If the ex initiated the break up, your friend might feel as though he was not good enough, thus the opposite could happen. He may feel inferior. He may take unnecessary steps to regain equality in the friendship, but because you are equal to begin with, he will actually overstep his boundaries and, like in the first scenario, he may then have a false sense of superiority.

    These are not absolutes. In order to make it work, honest and open communication is a must. Don't hide your feelings or make assumptions about the feelings of others.
     
  8. deltabtry

    deltabtry Guest

    Informing a friend before you take action, should be seriously considered. Friends are few and far between and when you die you usually only have one. Mates are more numerous through out our lives, it would prudent to consider the importance of your decision and your friendships.
     
  9. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    This was my response to my friend. I found out about their (friend and ex's) relationship after they were about 1 week and half or so into it.

    I mean, it's not like I wanted him to ask me permission, I have no right to say or think that. It's more the idea of him letting me know that's what he's going to do. I guess it's a way of asking him to soften the blow a bit.
     
  10. Hoosier_Daddy

    Hoosier_Daddy Registered Member

    I absolutely concur with this assesment. It's isn't hard to simply discuss with your friend the possibility that you'd like to date their ex-girlfriend. Chances are they're not going to have an objection as long as you've been up front with them.


    Hoosier.
     

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