Could you forgive a cheater?

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by AngelsPeak, Jan 22, 2010.

  1. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    Is it the ultimate deal breaker in your relationship?

    For me, the answer without a second thought is, yes. I've seen too many friends forgive, and then spend years checking up on everything their spouse is doing for years after, only to end up divorced anyway.

    Do you think you'd be able to forgive and move on, or would that be the end?
     

  2. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    Can't say I've gotten cheaten on before but knowing myself and knowing that life is too short to be spent on one person while there is someone out there waiting to meet you and possibly ending up with you.
     
  3. Millz

    Millz Lance Catamaran Staff Member V.I.P.

    I've been cheated on before. One time it was a deal breaker (we had been dating off an on for over 2 years) because it was the straw that broke the camels back. The other one wasn't but that was because we had just started seeing each other and weren't 100% solely together. I thought we were on the same page and apparently we weren't.

    Typically it is though. If you're going to cheat on me then any trust I had for you goes out the window. It would be REALLY hard for me to trust you ever again.
     
  4. Jeanie

    Jeanie still nobody's bitch V.I.P. Lifetime

    Forgive? Maybe. Ever trust again? Nope. It broke my marriage in fact. I couldn't ever believe a word he said, once he had broken my trust.
     
  5. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Depends on what happened. Certainly not all affairs are created equal.
     
  6. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    99.9% No. if you cheated means you don't need me anymore and if we get back together i hardly think you'll be faithful to me for the rest of our lives ...
    think about it. ... it's a whole life ... , and you as a cheater will feel the need for a diversity .. so it's impossible to let your 'chances' go.
     
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    If the person cheated on someone, then I won't hold that against the person automatically. If the person cheated on me, I'll find it hard to trust that person again (maybe the difficulty of getting over it is commensurate to the amount of trust I've given that person prior to cheating).
     
  8. Kibi

    Kibi Babeasaurus Sex

    This is difficult....

    ...I once was cheated on but I had been with the guy for two years and it made us assess the relationship and work out how it had got to that...we were together for another 2 years after that happily. We're still friends now.

    In saying that the next guy I went out with we were together nearly a year when he kissed another girl and then lied to me about it (I had a picture message to prove it and he still argued against it....) and the fact that he lied meant that I ended it that day.

    I guess it depends on you and your relationship.

    :)

    XxX
     
  9. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    Nope.

    Cheating is the all time deal breaker for me. I'll forgive and forget alot of things. But a cheater is something I just cannot. I dont understand the selfishness that goes along with it. I mean why sacrifice something good for a quick orgasm with some strange. My theory is if you're willing to chance your relationship by having a fling... you dont deserve the relationship you had in the first place.

    And as you mentioned, I to have seen to many relationships that have forgiven a cheater.... the relationship is never the same. Because you get one of two situations. The first situation sucks, but at least its closest to be mended...Forgiveness is never 100% and that trust is broken. So one part of the Relationship will end up living in some sort of fear that they'll get cheated on again. Completely understandable if you ask me, unfortunate...but understandable.

    And then the other situation is the one that I see the most often. The cheated on side forgives and forgets... but the Cheater finds out "oh so I can get away with it eh?". And they just learn from the mistakes that got them caught the last time, then commence cheating again. One of my old acquaintances (not a friend any longer) is a compulsive cheater. He has a wife, 4 kids... and he has constantly cheated on his family for as long as I've known him. Since before he was married before he had kids, and up to this day. He got caught twice and she forgave him, bought into the puppy dog eyes routine. Its to the point of whos really at fault there anymore? Him for being such a sleezebag? Or her for being so naive?
    ------
    I disagree...

    Sex is Sex... if you stick your dick in another chick that isnt your significant other... You're cheating. How can there be any gray areas? :hah:
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2010
  10. Impact

    Impact Registered Member V.I.P. Lifetime

    If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Definitely the ultimate deal breaker for a relationship
     

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